variableUberwriter Posted: April 23, 20192019-04-23T04:34:12+10:00 2019-04-23T04:34:12+10:00In: FamilyAfter eviction, a desperate widow departs with her step-kids to seek her ultra-rich ascetic brother, meditating somewhere in the woods of India before [the ticking clock event]title: offline ShareFacebook3 ReviewsVotedOldestRecentRichiev 61 Loglines 3,409 Reviews 308 Best Reviews 81,428 Points View Profile Richiev Singularity 2019-04-23T13:18:28+10:00Added an answer on April 23, 2019 at 1:18 pm Adding a ticking clock to the logline is a great way to ramp up the tension.But just saying there is a ticking clock isn’t exactly what people mean by a ticking clock.Here would be an example of a ticking clock:“When the bank gives? her thirty days to pay the mortgage or be evicted…”0 Share ShareShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on WhatsApphenb 23 Loglines 43 Reviews 4 Best Reviews 1,142 Points View Profile henb Samurai 2019-04-29T07:50:35+10:00Added an answer on April 29, 2019 at 7:50 am Why is the widow poor and evicted? Why does this widow feel the need to locate her brother? Does she want money, or to move in with him? Will she ask for his advice? ‘Ascetic’, not sure what this means, perhaps use a more commonly used word to describe the brother. Why is the brother meditating in the woods? how long has he been in the woods meditating? Also a descriptor for the step-kids would be nice. Are they adventurous? Shy? Does she get along with her kids?0 Share ShareShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on WhatsAppkpetrakis01 10 Loglines 28 Reviews 3 Best Reviews 891 Points View Profile kpetrakis01 Logliner 2019-10-05T08:48:10+10:00Added an answer on October 5, 2019 at 8:48 am Sounds interesting but how does someone so poor find someone in another country?? I like the idea of the quest but I guess determining what that reason is will probably help with the ticking clock event. How old are the kids and are they vested in the journey – or is she just dragging them along.. Would be good if they had a combined or different reasons for the journey.? Maybe they’re not evicted but struggling. So they have some resources but not enough to….and is there something they need besides money that only he can provide?0 Share ShareShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on WhatsAppYou must login to can add an answer. Username or email* Password* Remember Me! Forgot Password?