guswakeyLogliner Posted: January 15, 20202020-01-15T09:55:06+10:00 2020-01-15T09:55:06+10:00In: Drama After his vengeful ex-partner in crime recruits his son for a dangerous heist, a reclusive fugitive must come out of hiding and take his place in order to save him. – Share Facebook 2 Reviews Voted Oldest Recent JayHarrington24 1 Loglines 6 Reviews 1 Best Answer 186 Points View Profile Best Answer JayHarrington24 Logliner 2020-01-15T11:31:48+10:00Added an answer on January 15, 2020 at 11:31 am It?s not bad as is. ?It reminds me of ?Gone in 60 Seconds?, except it?s a brother-for-brother substitution (as opposed to father-for-son). ?Here?s the logline for Gone: A retired car thief must return to his former life of crime in order to save his younger brother’s life. He now has four days to gather a team of boosters and steal 50 cars before it’s too late. Maybe you can give a little more detail; maybe it?ll help to follow the Gone logline structure. Keep up the good work! ? 0 Share Share Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on LinkedIn Share on WhatsApp Mike Pedley United Kingdom (UK) 66 Loglines 610 Reviews 99 Best Reviews 50,931 Points View Profile Best Answer Mike Pedley Singularity 2020-01-15T18:44:54+10:00Added an answer on January 15, 2020 at 6:44 pm I think the story can be sustained by just padding out a little of the logline. Maybe the fugitive discovers that his ex-partner was using the son as a pawn to draw the fugitive out because he needs the best in the business? Or maybe he’s drawing him out to get his revenge? I reckon if you added a really interesting MPR that gives us a clue to the real?motives of this ex-partner, you will easily sustain this idea. I would frame the inciting incident from the protagonist’s point of view. “When he discovers his vengeful ex-partner has recruited his son…” 0 Share Share Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on LinkedIn Share on WhatsApp You must login to can add an answer. Username or email* Password* Captcha* Remember Me! Forgot Password?