After leaving his tiny home village, A lonely man returns many years later to win back his childhood sweetheart only to find out she never existed.
logsoflinesPenpusher
After leaving his tiny home village, A lonely man returns many years later to win back his childhood sweetheart only to find out she never existed.
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The End
>>>only to find out she never existed.
Is that the end of the story or the beginning?? If the beginning, what becomes his objective goal as a result? And who or what opposes him?
If it’s the end, it’s a spoiler. And a logline should not have a spoiler, should not reveal how the film ends.
I understand your last sentence “only to find out she never existed” as the beginning of your story, aka plot point I.
But as dpg already stated, what is the objective goal of your protagonist after he finds out she never existed. What does he have to do?
Right now,? with this version, there is no road map and clear intention in what kind of direction your second act is going for.
Does he want to prove that she exists (existed)?
Often, the best solution to this problem is by defining the theme of your story.
Example 1: My story is about delucions that can be so strong that you literally think they are real.
Example 2: My story is about second chances and how everybody should be able to make up for his first failures.
So, what is your story (logline) really, deeply about?
If you know that question (or answer), you have your logline- and, thus, your story.
Hope that helped.
Agreed with DPG and Savinh0.
Also, “…lonely man…” sounds rather generic, is there anything else about him that would make him a unique character? Preferably, this would be a flaw he has to overcome.
On a side note, did the sweetheart actually exist and was kidnapped or killed? Or was she a figment of his imagination?
It’s awesome! I love it!!!!
You wrote:
“…It?s awesome! I love it!!!!…”
about your own logline.
You know we can see your name at the bottom of your comments, right?