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logsoflinesPenpusher
Posted: November 12, 20172017-11-12T02:28:54+10:00 2017-11-12T02:28:54+10:00In: Drama

After leaving his tiny home village, A lonely man returns many years later to win back his childhood sweetheart only to find out she never existed.

After leaving his tiny home village, A lonely man returns many years later to win back his childhood sweetheart only to find out she never existed.
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    6 Reviews

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    1. Best Answer
      Neer Shelter Singularity
      2017-11-13T10:53:34+10:00Added an answer on November 13, 2017 at 10:53 am

      You wrote:
      “…It?s awesome! I love it!!!!…”
      about your own logline.

      You know we can see your name at the bottom of your comments, right?

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    2. Best Answer
      logsoflines Penpusher
      2017-11-13T10:30:26+10:00Added an answer on November 13, 2017 at 10:30 am

      It’s awesome! I love it!!!!

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    3. Best Answer
      Neer Shelter Singularity
      2017-11-12T10:33:46+10:00Added an answer on November 12, 2017 at 10:33 am

      Agreed with DPG and Savinh0.

      Also, “…lonely man…” sounds rather generic, is there anything else about him that would make him a unique character? Preferably, this would be a flaw he has to overcome.

      On a side note, did the sweetheart actually exist and was kidnapped or killed? Or was she a figment of his imagination?

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    4. Best Answer
      savinh0 Samurai
      2017-11-12T06:01:27+10:00Added an answer on November 12, 2017 at 6:01 am

      I understand your last sentence “only to find out she never existed” as the beginning of your story, aka plot point I.
      But as dpg already stated, what is the objective goal of your protagonist after he finds out she never existed. What does he have to do?
      Right now,? with this version, there is no road map and clear intention in what kind of direction your second act is going for.
      Does he want to prove that she exists (existed)?
      Often, the best solution to this problem is by defining the theme of your story.
      Example 1: My story is about delucions that can be so strong that you literally think they are real.
      Example 2: My story is about second chances and how everybody should be able to make up for his first failures.

      So, what is your story (logline) really, deeply about?
      If you know that question (or answer), you have your logline- and, thus, your story.

      Hope that helped.

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    5. Best Answer
      dpg Singularity
      2017-11-12T05:24:53+10:00Added an answer on November 12, 2017 at 5:24 am

      >>>only to find out she never existed.

      Is that the end of the story or the beginning?? If the beginning, what becomes his objective goal as a result? And who or what opposes him?

      If it’s the end, it’s a spoiler. And a logline should not have a spoiler, should not reveal how the film ends.

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    6. Best Answer
      Richiev Singularity
      2017-11-12T03:12:20+10:00Added an answer on November 12, 2017 at 3:12 am

      The End

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