After mistakenly stealing a suitcase of cocaine from his call-girl wife’s pimp, a lonely pop-culture geek tries to sell the drugs in Hollywood before the mob tracks them down.

mikepedley85 Mentor Asked on August 8, 2018 in Examples.
Add Comment
4 Review(s)

After mistakenly taking a suitcase of cocaine from his new wife’s ex-pimp, a comic store clerk tries to sell it in Hollywood while being pursued by a mob hit man.
(30 words)

This cleans up the somewhat messy “his call-girl wife’s pimp”.

Or, more concisely:
After mistakenly taking a suitcase of cocaine, a comic store clerk tries to sell it while being pursued by a mob hit man.
(23 words)

Or even shorter and more effective:
written by Quentin Tarantino.
(4 words)

The script doesn’t need a logline.  The writer’s name on the title page would guarantee the script would get an immediate read.

Although at the time the movie was made, Quentin was just breaking into the biz and didn’t have the celebrity status and complete creative control he enjoys today.   Fun fact:  in Tarantino’s script,  the protagonist did’t survive the climactic shoot out.  But the movie was directed by Tony Scott who insisted the movie had to have a Hollywood ending.

dpg Singularity Reviewed on August 9, 2018.

Yeah, I was reading up about it after I watched it last night. Tarantino and Roger Avery wrote a 500 page script that they split into two – they became True Romance and Natural Born Killers. If I can ever write dialogue half as good as in the scene with Dennis Hopper and Christopher Walken I’ll be happy!

The thing I found really interesting is that, although the film starts with Clarence’s perspective, it ends from hers with a voiceover. This is why I wanted to keep her presence in the logline. New wife’s ex-pimp works great though – I added call-girl because of her indignation at the suggestion she was a whore.

Comic store clerk works too. I was tempted to go with Elvis super-fan as that potentially has more connections to some of the other elements in the film but I think that would paint a very different picture to the character.

It must be nice to be Tarantino.

on August 9, 2018.
Add Comment

Good one!

A great example of a good film that was made cheap and gained a cult following. It was an unusual take on the crime drama genre at the time and I’m sure that as a result, the concept added a level of risk to its investment. It seems as though today most financing relies on statistical analysis of social media trends and result in a far less edgy or “risk” prone story selection. I kind of feel that we’ve lost something along the way…

Nir Shelter Singularity Reviewed on August 10, 2018.

Couldn’t agree more. Franchises, sequels, prequels, remakes, reimaginings – I’d love to see more original films being made! I have nothing against the types of films listed above but I’d really love to see the HUGE profits from these film go towards making more original movies without having to worry so much about how much money it’s going to make. There must be millions of great ideas (I’ve seen a few on this website) that will never see the light of day because it’s a “risk”.

Imagine a world without Drexl Spivey. Gary Oldman is one of the greatest actors ever to walk the earth. Love this film! If anyone reading these comments hasn’t seen it, watch it! It’s really well structured, great characters, incredible dialogue and the balance between comedy and drama is sublime! It also shows that simple scenes with two characters sitting, talking can be as exciting as any car chase or fight scene.

I love Tarantino. He is an icon. However, I think this film, being directed by Tony Scott, has a grounded realism that I feel could have been lost if Tarantino directed it.

The inciting incident in my logline also happens at 30mins – the break into act II. I debated as to whether Clarence and Alabama meeting or marrying could be the inciting incident but the only moment that ties the whole story together beautifully is that 10 seconds when they open the suitcase of drugs.

on August 10, 2018.
Add Comment

And the movie is…?

dpg Singularity Reviewed on August 9, 2018.

True Romance

on August 9, 2018.
Add Comment

A good example.  One point. You could probably just say “Wife’s pimp” since having a pimp would mean she’s a call girl and “his call-girl wife’s pimp” is a bit long winded.

Richiev Singularity Reviewed on August 12, 2018.
Add Comment

Your Review

By posting your answer, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.