After the death of his estranged mother, a young Wall Street executive is haunted by the ghost of his father until he mourns her properly.

    Penpusher Posted on January 31, 2018 in Student Loglines.
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    5 Review(s)

      Is he harassed? Is mourning something that is forced on him? The feeling isn’t quite there. Here are a few attempts.

      A Wall Street executive finally mourns his estranged mother after his father’s ghost helps him forgive her.

      A Wall Street executive finally mourns his estranged mother after learning her secrets from his fathers ghost.

      A Wall Street executive learns to forgive and finally mourn his estranged mother after visits from his father’s ghost.

      Summitry Answered on January 31, 2018.
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        Agreed with Craig. It’s not clear what the MC’s motivation is to not mourn her death, estranged or not.

        What’s at stake here? What’s the worst thing that will happen should he not mourn her?

        Also, what is his goal? To get the father’s ghost off his back? To help the mother’s spirit somehow?

        Singularity Answered on January 31, 2018.
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          As the others have said.

          And what does “mourn her properly” mean anyway?

          I think it would be better if the role of the father is to offer consolation rather than persecution.

          Singularity Answered on February 1, 2018.
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            Sometimes you need that little twist to get a story sold

            A Christmas Carol

            The lead character’s mother was named Carol
            She died on Christmas
            His father’s ghost shows him visions of the past, how they got together, their love story what went wrong, all leading up to the mother leaving.

            The movie ends with the lead putting flowers on his mothers grave with a better understanding of who his mother was.

            Singularity Answered on February 1, 2018.
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              Clever, Richiev.  A better title, perhaps would be “A Christmas Carole”.

              The backstory of the logline is that mother and son became estranged.  What is the wedge issue that drove them apart?  That’s what the story is about, what all the haunting must drive him to resolve?

              But it has to be about more than mending the past.  It must be an issue he needs to resolve in order to live his life going forward.  If he fails to resolve the issue, his life is doomed to an unhappy ending. (As was the case for Scrooge.)

              The fundamental problem I see with this logline is that it sets up a “rear view mirror” plot; that, is a story line where the focus is on the past.  But plots are — or should be — about how people are to live looking forward in time.  Just as you cannot drive a car forward by looking solely through the rear view mirror, a plot cannot advance satisfactorily with a protagonist whose gaze is fixated on the past.  Ultimately, what matters is where the protagonist must go in the future, not where he failed to go in the past.

              fwiw

              Singularity Answered on February 1, 2018.

              Maybe the lead character has reservations about marriage because of his relationship with his mother. He has met the perfect woman but his past is hurting his current relationship, and until he can get over the past he will never move on with his future.

              on February 2, 2018.
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