jamesmichaelPenpusher Posted: April 9, 20122012-04-09T04:31:37+10:00 2012-04-09T04:31:37+10:00"Amongst the ruins of a bunker on a small Island, lies an ancient power. Sought by the evil Norokai, three children must stand between them and world domination."Odin’s Fountain ShareFacebook1 ReviewVotedOldestRecent 7 Loglines 217 Reviews 0 Best Reviews 0 Points View Profile [Deleted User] 2012-04-10T10:54:25+10:00Added an answer on April 10, 2012 at 10:54 am Three children sounds very vague. Pick one – as I doubt there would be three distinct journeys – and tell us HOW they must prevent evil. “Stand between them and world domination” sounds awfully vague.And who/what is sought by the Norokai, the children or the power?Finally, rather than emphasizing the bunker and the small island, why not include the Inciting Incident that projects the three children into the story?0 Share ShareShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on WhatsAppYou must login to can add an answer. Username or email* Password* Remember Me! Forgot Password?