An alien headed back to his home planet in a spaceship stolen from Area 51 during his escape accidentally abducts a teenage slacker as the two helpless beings must grow up and work together to outrun the men in black.

    Mentor Posted on October 24, 2017 in Family.

    Intended as an animation.

    on October 24, 2017.
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    5 Review(s)

      Moses, the abduction hardly sounds like an element for a family story.

      Who’s the protag here, the alien or the teenager?

      Suggest you make the teenager the mc for the next version. Even in E.T., the kid was the mc, not the silly looking alien.

      Summitry Answered on October 24, 2017.
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        How does one “accidentally abduct” someone?  Or is the teen a stowaway?

        Even if it’s supposed to be a Odd Couple/Buddy story,  the logline should be framed around the human.  He should lead off the logline.

        Singularity Answered on October 24, 2017.
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          Yeah, if you told the FBI that you accidentally abducted a 6yr old girl, you’re going down regardless. 😉

          Summitry Answered on October 24, 2017.
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            Hi Moses,

            Herewith an interpretation logline of your story, maybe it helps.

            A slacker teen needs to return to earth without being noticed by the MIB or will end up in an intergalactic prison. (22)

            Let me know what you think!

            Thanks,

            Aschwin

            Logliner Answered on October 24, 2017.

            Hi Fandango 1980.

            Your interpretation is good. Question is does Moses have finished script, or at least the first draft, or this logline is just a way  to create a story?

            I understand that the right way for a great script is to start with great logline. For me the logline is just a selling tool. In my case I usually start with the title. When I have crazy and killing title I try to find a strong premise. Then  I close my eyes and try to find adequate crazy characters.  After first draft, sometimes after final draft I try to create a perfect logline.

            So, for me, there are two approaches to writing a logline. One when you start to create a story and the other when you try to create a logline that sell your screenplay.

            My approach is the other one.

            Best,

            Babaroga

            on October 26, 2017.
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              Love it.  Caught my attention right away.  Here’s my re-write:

              An Alien must escape the Men in Black and steal an aircraft from Area 51 after accidentally abducting a teenage slacker.

              Penpusher Answered on October 26, 2017.
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