An angel living under an alias on earth, must judge humanity, a choice that may damn his daughter to eternal death.

CLAY53 Penpusher Asked on January 27, 2019 in SciFi.
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2 Review(s)

So this angel has been living as a human and had a daughter? He was also tasked with judging humanity? Why doesn’t he give it a pass, seems to solve the problem?

The inciting incident seems a bit blurred as well, as what appears to be in the logline is more setup before your story starts.

It is an intriguing setup, angels living among us, but that does also come with an intrinsic problem, if angels exist in the story, God must as well, so you’d need to explain why God the all knowning isn’t doing the watching. Of course, an easy excuse is angels have always done this work, but humans mistakenly assumed it was one being.

Anyways, I feel there is something there, but without a reason to not pass humanity to save his daughter, there are no stakes. It seems the story should be more about the consequences of having a child.

Knightrider Mentor Reviewed on January 27, 2019.

I understand what you’re saying and I will take another stab at it. Thanks for your input…

on January 28, 2019.
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Besides the obvious theological flaws, (Which I doubt Hollywood would have a problem with) I think the main problem is, the story seems to be about, what the lead character must do to save his daughter after he is assigned the job of judging humanity.

In other words, your logline seems to be all set-up. You describe the situation but don’t tell us what the lead plans to do about it.

Richiev Singularity Reviewed on January 27, 2019.

I understand what you’re saying here and I will take another stab at it…

on January 28, 2019.
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