An assassin with a split personality is hired to protect a client who, unknowingly, his other personality has been hired to kill.

    Mentor Posted on September 12, 2019 in Action.
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    5 Review(s)

      Nice. That’s a great logline and a great premise for a story.


      Mentor Answered on September 12, 2019.
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        It hooked me right away.

        But then, I wanted to dig a little more.

        Both personalities are hired killers. Shouldn’t the protector be of a different profession? Like a bodyguard? Furthermore, shouldn’t the personalities be as different as possible to each other?

        A lot relies on what triggers the shift from one personality to the other. This can cause a comedic effect, like hearing a specific word or smelling a specific smell. I agree with dpg about the comedy element.

        I am wondering though how long can this premise keep a plot together? Is it a short film? Have you got a beat sheet or a synopsis? I would love to be surprised.

        Mentor Answered on September 13, 2019.

        Hi, I was thinking bodyguard, but in a weird way I wanted to keep the personas close to one another like the one key difference is a sense of morality.

        So one may kill for what he perceives a greater good, while the other doesn’t see things the same way.

        Of course, still figuring this out, so might change. I mean originally, this was going to be a story about two assassins from parallel universes, but thought was similar to Gemini Man’s premise

        on September 13, 2019.
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          Agreed with the others, nice tight logline with a hook

          Singularity Answered on September 13, 2019.
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            An instantly interesting logline with a lot of potential!

            I’m interested to know more about the client- what are his/her reasons for being the target of the hit and why does he/she choose the protagonist to help protect them.

            Agree with the above- what is the trigger for his changing of personalities? Is it in the call to adventure of the mid point reversal that we are introduced to the direct conflict between the personalities?

            Consider me intrigued!

            Penpusher Answered on September 14, 2019.
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              Very good logline. Congratulations!

              Penpusher Answered on October 5, 2019.
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