An earnest biology teacher fights a desperate battle to stop the military from weaponizing his students, who’ve developed a group mind after they’ve been infected by a spore from a decommissioned satellite.
byron79Logliner
An earnest biology teacher fights a desperate battle to stop the military from weaponizing his students, who’ve developed a group mind after they’ve been infected by a spore from a decommissioned satellite.
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I would just change the order a bit because it felt like i was playing catch up while reading. Maybe…
An earnest biology teacher fights a desperate battle to stop the military from weaponizing his students by infecting them with a spore from a decommissioned satellite, causing them to develop a group mind.
Also, developing a group mind doesn’t sound too terribly bad or urgent. What is it about this group mind that is dangerous? The word weaponizing is good, and battle as well, but then this wording kind of takes the danger out of it.
Thank you.
Example:
“A biology teacher fights to save his students from a CIA weaponized telepathy project when they’re infected by an alien hive mind spore from a crashed defunct satellite”
Make this yours, keep going!
Thank you.