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OdieSamurai
Posted: June 10, 20202020-06-10T05:44:32+10:00 2020-06-10T05:44:32+10:00In: Comedy

An Ex-CIA interrogator with a new life as an acupuncturist must survive Public Enemy No. 1 when her interpretive healing accidentally goes viral and exposes her government-subsidized hideout.

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    1. savinh0 Samurai
      2020-06-10T15:44:51+10:00Added an answer on June 10, 2020 at 3:44 pm

      Hey Odie,

      nice seeing you here again.

      May I ask what ‘interpretive healing’ is? I don’t know this kind of method.

      Regarding your goal: she wants to heal, not hurt. But she has to hurt during the movie (the bad guy), so for me the actual goal of the story is to survive and kill the Public Enemy, not healing (that would be the need of the character).

      Other than that, it sounds like a great concept. The logline is working and I see the stakes (surviving) and the goal (ultimately killing Public Enemy No.1).

      Just one recommendation: don’t make the ex-cia interrogator a badass with ultimate power skills. She seems to be out for a long time, so she should have some kind of handicap when going after the Public Enemy. This makes both the characters more believable and the story much more entertaining (as you intend to write a comedy).

       

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    2. dpg Singularity
      2020-06-17T10:55:20+10:00Added an answer on June 17, 2020 at 10:55 am

      I notice you categorized it as a comedy.  Hmm.  It reads more like drama to me.  I’m stating this as if I had not read any of the thread of discussion, as if I know nothing about the story other than  the 28 words in the logline.  What’s the funny in the logline itself, the 28 words, that I’m not seeing?

      Why is the bad guy coming after her?  She’s small fish in the CIA pond.  Or to mix and mangle metaphors, she’s merely a pawn in the Big Chess Game of geopolitics.  Did her job as an interrogator entail torturing?  If so, that needs to be in the logline because it explains the bad guy’s motivation for coming after her.

      Why is she at the top of his personal sh*t list?

      And her objective goal needs to be specific, concrete.  Not merely surviving her attacker or healing whoever.  The fact that a bad guy is coming after her seems to entails a ghost from the past coming back to haunt and kill her in the present.  She must need to bring closure to some unfinished spook business, rectify a wrong done.  Whatever. 

      An obvious ironical theme might be that she needs to heal a wound in her past before she can heal clients in the present.  (And heal herself.)  That could be interesting.

      >>>government-subsidized hideout.

      Not the way it’s done. I say that having known a number of retired spooks.  Ex-spooks can and do boot up whole new careers with their generous retirement package.  Just saying.

       

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