An ex-con out to kill the reformed paedophile he believes murdered his child, falls for the man’s protective sister – and must pick a side when town hysteria reaches boiling point.

    Mentor Posted on November 5, 2019 in Drama.

    Note: this one is more for me to write the screenplay as opposed to a shorter marketing one.

    Shorter marketing logline: (which I’m very tempted to use)

    An ex-con trapped in a house with the reformed paedophile he believes murdered his child – must pick a side when town hysteria reaches boiling point.

    on November 5, 2019.
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    4 Review(s)

      This is closer

      Singularity Answered on November 5, 2019.

      Thanks. What do you think of the shorter one? Perhaps it’s the shorter one.

      Also – many thanks to DPG and MikePedley. It is basically a hybrid of their suggestions.

      on November 5, 2019.
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        – There’s a slight ticking clock here. A Sophie’s choice dilemma. A trap/crucible.

        It’s fair to say – there’s an odd couple at the centre of it.

        Shorter version: (potentially the marketing logline)

        An ex-con trapped in a house with the reformed paedophile he believes murdered his child – must pick a side when town hysteria reaches boiling point.

        Admittedly I don’t want to chop the sister out of it but I think this one works too. I like the trapped element. It’s very lean too.

        Mentor Answered on November 5, 2019.

        Very tempted to use this as the main logline. Chop the sister.

        I’d be tempted to get rid of “reformed” for less words and more ambiguity. 

        on November 5, 2019.
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          Intention: To kill this man. Make him suffer.
          Formidable obstacle(s): Doubt. The loyal ever protective sister.

          Knowing a secondary rumour is a lie perpetuated by the mob.
          (So yeah – his own morality and sense of ethics start to kick in.)

          Doubt seems to be a driving force in this one.

          Mentor Answered on November 5, 2019.
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            The dilemma:

            1. Kill a potentially innocent man. Lose the girl. Go back to prison. His inability to let go of the past wins. Gives into his violence – his worst self. He becomes the villain. (Ironically, he also becomes the town hero.)

            or

            2. Defend a potentially guilty man. Get the girl. Fight a mob that includes family and friends. He becomes a hero (though not quite in an Atticus Finch sense). He becomes the least likely avatar of morality among the savagery and civilisation’s worst side. (By association, he becomes as worse as the reformed paedophile and a hated man. So yeah – he’s in trouble too.)

            Themes:
            Doubt. Morality and savagery (what stops us from becoming animals?).
            Change. Forgiveness.

            Mentor Answered on November 5, 2019.
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