An ex-con trapped in an isolated house with the paedophile he believes murdered his child – must pick a side when violent locals reach boiling point following another unexplained murder.

    Mentor Posted on November 6, 2019 in Thriller.

    We’ve got a ticking clock, a Sophie’s choice/dilemma, a trap/crucible, an odd couple at the centre, and all the themes are laid out.

    Lastly – the inciting incident is the murder.

    Also – it might be set during a rain storm. The biggest rain storm in this town’s history. We’ll see.

    on November 6, 2019.
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      Longer version:
      An ex-con trapped in an isolated house with the paedophile he believes murdered his child – must pick a side when town hysteria reaches boiling point following the murder of a local cop’s daughter.

      (Far too many words here with this one. I’m hoping the one above sums it better.)

      I hope “town hysteria reaches boiling point” suggests a bloody battle and a house under seige by locals – otherwise I’ll have to find a better way of saying it ha.

      How about…

      An ex-con trapped in an isolated house with the paedophile he believes murdered his child – must pick a side when violent locals reach boiling point following another unexplained murder. 

      (Okay – I’ve temporarily changed it. I think “violent locals” and “unexplained” murder is clearer.)

      Mentor Answered on November 6, 2019.
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        Characters:

        Sam – The ex-con protagonist. A former soldier who served 10 years for manslaughter for killing the wrong man. Previously, the unsolved murder of his child led to the ruin of his marriage, life and up to the manslaughter. Returning home, he believes the killer might be… reformed paedophile and recluse, Walt.

        Walt – A recluse of 10 years since he left prison. A self-hating man with suicidal tendencies. Throughout, he is evasive and inscrutable. There are moments he wants to be killed. He wants his sister to leave him alone – get on with her life, get married, have kids. He knows he’s wrecked her life just by being there.

        Bev – Walt’s protective, ever-loyal sister. She carries the burden of living with her paedophile brother. His presence has thwarted relationships, suitors, and they’ve had to move several times. Bev wants Walt to get out the house, move on with his life and get a job.

        Bill – the local drunk and moron. Sam’s co-worker (at a factory) and a former friend from his days as a hell-raiser. Bill’s daughter is found raped and murdered. The first person he goes after and harasses is Walt. (Also – he might be a local cop? We’ll see.)

        ———————

        Central questions of the whole thing:
        Is Sam going to kill this man? Did Walt murder anyone?

        Paradigm:

        I.I. – Bill’s daughter has been found raped and murdered. Sam, planning to kill Walt, finds Bev instead. (also – there’s foreshadowing of a storm coming.) Sam gets to know this man and begins having second thoughts. The doubt begins…

        PP1 – Sam, at a crossroads, gets involved – defends Walt against violent locals. The rumour mill kicks into gear and Walt becomes a hated man…

        MP – The house under seige. In self-defence and to protect his sister, Walt kills Bill’s cop brother. Now corrupt cops get involved. All during the town’s biggest rain storm.

        PP2 – It becomes more and more likely that Walt actually is a murderer. Sam, genuinely caught between killing an innocent man or defending a guilty one.

        Crisis Climax – I’ve got some ideas for this and I’m keeping that mysterious ha.

        Sam putting a gun to Walt’s head is definitely a reversal that will happen as it’s been foreshadowed like crazy in Act 1 and in that moment will answer the central questions.

         

        Mentor Answered on November 6, 2019.
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