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JBLogliner
Posted: March 8, 20162016-03-08T03:03:26+10:00 2016-03-08T03:03:26+10:00In: SciFi

An intrepid paleontologist battles deadly beasts on a Jovian moon after being hired by the U.S. government to join an interstellar crew to study an uncovered ancient fossil.

An intrepid paleontologist battles deadly beasts on a Jovian moon after being hired by the U.S. government to join an interstellar crew to study an uncovered ancient fossil.
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    1. danielplagens Logliner
      2016-03-09T03:36:06+10:00Added an answer on March 9, 2016 at 3:36 am

      This is interesting if familiar conceptual piece of science fiction. Being more specific in the logline may help it stand out from the classic Alien and from Prometheus.

      What, exactly, are the deadly beasts trying to do? Obviously protect the ancient fossil, but why is it so important to keep hidden from humans? Is there a bigger threat to Earth back home if our paleontologist doesn’t defeat them?

      Lastly, I’m not so sure you need the last bit about the United States government. Perhaps starting with “an intrepid paleontologist on a mission with an interstellar crew” may be enough.

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    2. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2016-03-09T08:42:37+10:00Added an answer on March 9, 2016 at 8:42 am

      The plot is not clear as the logline describes a situation with no starting or ending points. What starts off the story and what does the paleontologist need to achieve?
      In other words what are the inciting incident and goal?

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    3. dpg Singularity
      2016-03-09T14:24:55+10:00Added an answer on March 9, 2016 at 2:24 pm

      >>?they discover the relic?s ability to morph them into terrifying creatures

      Morph the crew into terrifying creatures?

      And if so, then what must the paleontologist do about it — what becomes the protagonist’s objective goal as a result of this development?? The logline sets up a problem, but doesn’t state what the protagonist must do about it.

      Also, how would they know?a fossil might cure disease??There would have to be an egregious violation of quarantine and containment procedures (as in “Alien”).? Okay, but before that you have to establish that it’s now?sop to do trial tests?for the medicinal properties of ?fossils.

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