An opinionated former cult-member must convince his equally-opinionated family to leave the same cult before they commit the ultimate sacrifice – themselves. TITLE: Born to Die

mrmmr Penpusher Asked on April 15, 2018 in Drama.
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At 22 words, the logline is succinct.  But, alas, it lacks an inciting incident.  What has happened that makes it a matter of  life-or-death NOW that he must convince his family to leave the cult?

(For that matter, why did he leave?  Why isn’t he still deluded like his family? Have you worked that out?  That’s not an essential aspect for the purpose of the logline, but I suggest it is an essential aspect of the protagonist’s character in the script.  And I am frankly curious because in my foolish and emotionally vulnerable youth I came under the influence of a religious cult. And  I have mulled over a lot why the arguments that brought me to my senses failed to persuade others..  Which is why I think  “opinionated” misses the mark in describing the family.  The problem with the family is that they are deluded.)


dpg Singularity Reviewed on April 15, 2018.
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You should give us an inciting incident and since this seems to be some sort of suicide cult there will probably be an automatic ticking time clock.
Here would be an example of an inciting incident with a ticking clock:
“When his former cult leader commands the entire group to commit suicide on the night of the comet, a former member has one week to re-infiltrate the group and rescue his brainwashed family”

Richiev Singularity Reviewed on April 15, 2018.
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Agreed with the above, this supercool idea would benefit greatly from a simple inciting event
And definitely deluded/brainwashed over opinionated
I don’t get why he needs to be “former cult member” though. Can he be a member too and this news of the comet shook the cult out of him?
Otherwise great film with great stakes!
Best wishes

variable Overlord Reviewed on April 15, 2018.

cults are kratzy

on April 15, 2018.
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>>>Can he be a member too

I think this would be an interesting choice, if:

1] The protagonist is in a subordinate position within the pecking order of the cult hierarchy.  (Cults are very hierarchical.)  Like  if he is a son in the family he’s trying to rescue because, per the 5th commandment, children are supposed to “honor” (Translation:  “Don’t argue, do as your told.”)

2] Even better make the protagonist the daughter in the family.  Which places her even lower down in the pecking order, essentially powerless because not only is she under the proscription of the 5th commandment, but cults are also patriarchal regimes where women are supposed to keep silent and submit to the authority of men (1 Timothy 2:11-12).  (Translation:  “Who  asked your opinion?  Shut the f**k up and do as you’re told!”)

So she’s not just persuading — she’s rebelling.  Which amplifies  tension and conflict.

But if you want to keep the protagonist in the role of an ex-cult member, then as a female she would have an even harder task because of the fact that women don’t get no respect.


dpg Singularity Reviewed on April 16, 2018.
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