Samurai
Posted: 2020-04-04T01:53:29+10:00 In:

An overnight caregiver and a bored stiff succubus form an unlikely alliance to launch a dark web speed dating site.

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    5 Reviews

    1. Best Answer
      Singularity

      Where is the conflict? (And what are the stakes?)

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    2. Best Answer
      Singularity

      Why would the two form an unlikely alliance?? What’s the shared goal in their relationship?

      And why must the dating site be on the dark side of the web?? What is it doing that ‘s? evil and illegal?

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    3. Best Answer
      Singularity

      Neither of the characters seems flawed in a way that implies a journey of change, and at the same time (like Richiev said) there appear to be very little stakes and conflict.

      According to the logline, the two meet, agree on their terms of collaboration and launch a dating website – end of story. How will that be dramatic? What force is opposing them? And how will they internally change as a result?

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    4. Best Answer
      Logliner

      I would like to see some description of the two characters that give us an indication as to why they have both decided to go on this adventure together. Other questions I have are:

      What are their intentions for setting up this site? If the caregiver is the main character, perhaps he/she has good intentions which the succubus exploits and then conflict arises between the two later on?

      Do they both plan to put it on the dark web initially or is there a deception involved? I don’t see a caregiver being someone who would know much about/ care much for the dark web.

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      ?

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    5. Best Answer
      Samurai

      Thoughts? Think I am getting closer, but its starting to elude me again 😉

      “A hell-bent overnight caregiver must evade the law after botching the launch of a dark web speed dating site to relocate his clingy succubus to more enticing fresh meat.“

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