Captain Jonathan Trilby, the only T-Rex in the dinosaur detective space corp division has two hours to find the omega 3 reality bomb and defuse it before it destroys the galaxy. With the help of rookie partner Flip Biggins a agoraphobic terra dactyl, Trilby must find the cult behind the bomb while fighting the urge to eat his entire team.
Dinosaur detectives in Space! My initial impression was AWESOME idea for an animated film…Sherlock Holmes meets Jurassic Park meets The 5th Element with a hint of Madagascar.
But then I thought…maybe there’s one too many good ideas fused together. SPACE and DINOSAURS is cool. But DINOSAURS and DETECTIVES? Dinosaurs are brutes and fighters, not thinkers. I’d rather see dinosaurs in action as superheros. But then again you might be able to milk that contrast for humour!
My advice: try to cut it down to around 25 words.
Here’s my crack at it.
A respected T-rex space detective and his partner, an agoraphobic terradactyl, must stop ::describe anatagonist:: from blowing up the galaxy.
Sadly overwritten for what sounds like a great, pixar-like concept. Thankfully, there are several places where it could be cut down simply by removing unneeded information: the character’s names, the name of the bomb, the fact that he’s the only T-Rex detective, etc…
I disagree with patrockable in the objection to the detectives aspect – in fact, I think that’s its strongest feature. Films of this type often revolve around characters overcoming their own nature to succeed – so our protagonist T-Rex overcoming his apex-predator mentality to crack the case with his mind, rather than his teeth, gives the story the heart it needs. So why isn’t that in the logline?!
On the other hand, I can’t see what the space-setting lends to the plot at all. It seems like it’s there to add “coolness” when, in fact, it just feels contrived.
“A T-Rex detective must overcome his apex-predator mentality in a race against time to stop a crazed [antagonist] from destroying [the world].”
Don’t even think you need his terradactyl side-kick in there – it’s a logline, all the rest you can save for the outline/synopsis.
Technically speaking, you cannot blow up a galaxy. It’s physically impossible. It would even be a stretch as a cartoon. I would suggest that he has to defuse it before it blows up a planet. While even that may be a stretch, it still makes more sense than trying to blow up an entire galaxy. There is also the possibility of trying to blow up a sun which could destroy a solar system.
Right there are several things for your concideration.