Chosen by destiny, five teenage runaways entered to a parallel world. Empowered by mystical swords,they vow to protect the kingdom from the army of the underworld.
N.J.RobinsPenpusher
Chosen by destiny, five teenage runaways entered to a parallel world. Empowered by mystical swords,they vow to protect the kingdom from the army of the underworld.
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Odie
Leaning towards:
“Thrown into a fantastical world, a group of teenage runaways armed with mystical swords protects an enchanted kingdom from the armies of the underworld”
It’s missing the group’s psychology – do they want to go home? Do they make this new world their home? Will defeating the baddies open a portal home?
Make this yours, keep going!
Richiev
When writing a logline, it is good to figure out what sets the story in motion. What is the big event that changes the lead character(s) life?
Let me try a logline from the perspective that traveling to a parallel world is that big event.
“When they are transported to a magical realm under attack by an underworld army, five runaways head to the call to protect the land with the help of a snarky magical sword.”
Obviously, I added the term ‘snarky’ to give the logline a little flavor.
Also, this logline could benefit from having a lead character.
Hope this helped.