Destiny brings a lonely sketch artist and a bohemian girl together. Despite fate granting them one night, they are forever bound by a magical origami legend.

Penpusher Posted on April 18, 2019 in Romance.
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4 Review(s)

Is the story about the ‘one night’?
Or does the ‘one night,’ set the story in motion?

Singularity Answered on April 18, 2019.
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On a side note.

In a love story, you have the “Attraction” and the “Romance”. The “Attraction” is what makes the audience want to see the two leads get together. The “Romance” is what keeps the two apart.

The stronger the “Romance” (What keeps them apart) The stronger the audience will want to see the two leads get together.  (And the more gripping the story will be)

The two leads are in love (as an example) but their families are bitter rivals. The obstacle is so powerful the starstruck couple commit suicide. This makes for strong romance.

The stronger the obstacle that keeps them apart, the stronger the “Romance” 

In your logline, you hint that the two only share one night together but don’t tell us what keeps them apart. If they liked each other so much, why not just stay together? What is the “Romance” of your story? What is the nearly insurmountable obstacle that keeps the two from being together forever?

Singularity Answered on April 18, 2019.
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If they are forever bound by a magical origami legend, what’s the conflict?

Summitry Answered on April 19, 2019.
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Say more about the sketch artist since “lonely” is either assumed or not as significant as a flaw or issue. Since they’re in the same ballpark (an artist and a bohemian), the external conflict is even more important  Or make them opposites in some way.  Same with the girl, “bohemian” may not be enough if the story is equally about the two…a two-hander, as they say, as opposed to a one-hander romance that is more about one character being completed by the other.

Explain the legend in a way that is understood.

Mentor Answered on April 23, 2019.
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