Disbelieving his addicted mother that he is fatherless, a faith-driven basketball star must jeopardize his championship hopes to uncover the heartrending truth about his long-lost dad.
How can any child be fatherless? Maybe the guy who our protagonist believed was his dad, isn’t. Maybe that’s the discovery. That would also explain the “why now?” question. Or does his mother claim that it was an immaculate conception? That could help with the faith bit.
He’s faith-driven. What bearing does that have on the story? Why is that important enough as a defining characteristic to be in the logline?
When you say he’s a basketball star? Like NBA level?
His goal – “discover the heartrending truth about his long-lost dad” – why is his goal not “to find his father”? The truth might be that he’s actually passed away (or whatever the heartrending truth is), but that’s like an Act II break, and I believe a logline should stop before this point.
I think the basic elements are there, I think they just need adjusting slightly to firm it up a little.
Thank you for challenging me on this logline. Thankfully, a very established film producer has already read my screenplay and has expressed great interest in producing it. Of course nothing is guaranteed until the contract is signed.
Unless you would like for me to send you my screenplay, here is a brief background.
Our protagonist was abducted as a small child by his mother due to drug related charges. She changed his identity so the father could not easily find him. Her guilt turned into abuse towards her son, always telling him she was raped when he pressed her for information about where his father was? Disbelieving her, he began to formulate a plan to figure out the truth. Basketball and crying out to God for help are the two things in his life which helped him to cope. I will include a brief plot summary and a short, one page synopsis. If you have any other ideas, I will welcome your continued input. Thanks again.
Screenplay: “A Shot At Faith”
Plot Summary: Mitchell Craig, a reverent and prized basketball recruit has three goals. One. Earn the love of his self-destructive mother, Betsy Craig. Two. Find his long-lost dad. Three. Win a championship. After Mitchell misses the game-winning shot in his high school’s regional final, little does he realize the journey to achieve at least one of his goals is about to begin.
MITCHELL CRAIG (17), a reverent and prized basketball recruit has three goals. One. Earn the love of his self-destructive on the lam mother, BETSY CRAIG (36). Two. Uncover the truth about his long-lost father. Three. Win a championship. After Mitchell misses the game-winning shot in his high school’s regional final, little does he realize the journey to achieve at least one of his goals is about to begin.
Mitchell learns he is sought by the “who’s who” of major-college coaches, but is torn accepting a college scholarship or staying at home in hopes of rescuing his self-destructive mother. Mitchell’s love for Betsy is unquestioned, but her demons of hatred and disdain peak during a pivotal jail scene when Mitchell visits her, furthering his confusion about leaving.
Mitchell prayerfully considers his options for the future, then accepts a basketball scholarship to a major university, where he breaks into the starting lineup, bringing renewed hope to a team of noncontenders. Along the way, he meets fellow freshman, EMILY FRASER, a compassionate member of the women’s team. Becoming fast friends, he trusts Emily with his disturbing past while feeling something more as the season progresses.
Upon seeing Mitchell play during a nationally televised game, a mysterious fan, MARK SANDERS (his estranged uncle), makes contact, requesting that they meet. Mitchell soon learns that his missing father, BOBBY, a former college-star himself, died five years earlier, but left Mitchell several mementos of their brief past along with an impassioned heartfelt message. Mark also reveals that Bobby had two goals: find his son and win a championship. Mitchell then learns that Betsy abducted him when he was two years old to avoid an outstanding arrest warrant for possession of drugs. Aware of her son’s discovery, vindictively, Betsy removes Mitchell from college as his team struggles to qualify for postseason play.
Mitchell, devastated, struggles to forgive his mother, but eventually accepts the fact that God’s ways are higher than his. As he continues to pray for Betsy, an unusual event jolts her into facing the reality that maybe she needs God in her life. Guilt-ridden, Betsy begins searching for answers while having Mitchell reinstated back to the team just before the regular-season ends.
Mitchell breathes new life into his undermanned teammates, helping his university storm through the national tournament and into the championship finals. After being seriously injured in the title game, Mitchell makes a dramatic recovery, inspiring his teammates to come back from an insurmountable deficit. Mitchell then hits the go-ahead shot with no time left, winning the national championship in honor of his late father’s memory.
Mitchell realizes his final goal, and an even greater victory when Betsy, who has accepted Christ, asks for him to baptize her at a moving, down-by-the-river church service. The years of deception and hostility between Betsy and Mitchell are amazingly washed anew, demonstrating that true confession and forgiveness can repair even the most broken of relationships.
Tagline: Basketball was just a game; finding out the truth became his goal.
>>>Betsy removes Mitchell from college as his team struggles to qualify for postseason play
How can she legally do that? He’s attending on a basketball scholarship — which she has no control over.
And the coach and college stand by and do nothing?