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mobiuswestPenpusher
Posted: November 25, 20222022-11-25T13:28:25+10:00 2022-11-25T13:28:25+10:00In: Thriller

Families must take the law into their own hands after they discover the new neighbors aren’t the perfect family everyone thought they were.

Families must take the law into their own hands after they discover the new neighbors aren’t the perfect family everyone thought they were.
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      Richiev Singularity
      2022-12-05T08:08:23+10:00Added an answer on December 5, 2022 at 8:08 am

      A logline must be compelling, it’s what sells the story to the industry.

      Your logline would improve and draw the reader in if it were more specific.

      There should be a specific event that compels the family to take the law into their own hands and that event should be personal.

      The event should also be horrific enough that the reader will understand why it might compel an ordinary person to take the law into their own hands.

      Finally, there should be stakes of some sort if the lead character fails.

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      • mobiuswest Penpusher
        2022-12-07T15:44:08+10:00Replied to answer on December 7, 2022 at 3:44 pm

        Thank you Richiev, you couldn’t be more correct, this logline is very vague, I’ll get back to work on it, appreciate your feedback very much.

        Regards

        Jim in Japan.

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