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Bjay12Penpusher
Posted: August 2, 20212021-08-02T09:45:01+10:00 2021-08-02T09:45:01+10:00In: Horror

Five delinquents must find a way to survive when they are sent to a behavioural camp run by a sadistic cult.

Five delinquents must find a way to survive when they are sent to a behavioural camp run by a sadistic cult.
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    1. Odie Samurai
      2021-08-03T06:32:28+10:00Added an answer on August 3, 2021 at 6:32 am

      Dig it!

      Consider the following to strengthen your logline:
      1. Anything more to these delinquents? They may just be a motley crew of felonious youths with nothing in common except being forced to this camp – and survive. Any elaborations may help to provide an ironic play on words for your premise.
      2. What’s this sadistic cult’s MO – what are they known for? I read once a boot camp that had “fight nights”.
      3. A camp destination/location is key for reader orientation.
      4. Most camps have a set timeframe, maybe you can use this as your ticking clock devise e.g., “… must survive a three day …” just food for thought.

      This is what I can see so far:
      “A group of delinquents must survive a behavioral boot camp ran by a sadistic cult”

      Hope you found this constructive, keep going!

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      • Bjay12 Penpusher
        2021-08-03T08:45:00+10:00Replied to answer on August 3, 2021 at 8:45 am

        Thank you,

        Your feedback was very constructive and helpful, I have read back through it a few times.
        I am considering changing it from five youths to a single protagonist, and from sadistic to demonic cult. These changes also better reflect the story.

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