When a British spy falls for a Nazi’s fiancée, he jeopardises his assignment to thwart the Nazi’s uranium smuggling operation.

Mentor Posted on May 14, 2019 in Thriller.
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6 Review(s)

Limited series 8 episodes:

Series logline: In 1961, when a British spy falls for a Nazi’s fiancee, he jeopardises his assignment to thwart the Nazi’s uranium smuggling operation. (courtesy of DPG).

Pilot logline: In 1961, a British spy must return to his old dangerous games to catch a Nazi war criminal hiding on the French Riviera. (courtesy of CKHarper).

Mentor Answered on May 14, 2019.

It’s good. It has a lot to offer. I see serious potential in it. However, I’m never a fan of dates like 1961. That should be in the story to give the mindset of where we are, but I never felt it was relevant to any logline.

on May 15, 2019.
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For a series a logline should describe the universe that many stories are being told in. A limited series is a bit different as it is more like a huge movie with one compelling arc.

I am not sure if Nazis are still an issue in 61.  By then we had Eastern and Western Germany.  So I am not sure that the date works for that reason.

In 60’s Cold War divide Germany a British spy falls in love with a with a woman putting his mission at risk to stop the last remaining nazis from obtaining Uranium.

Summitry Answered on May 15, 2019.

Hi Craig. Thanks for the feedback. Hmm – I can’t really change too much as I’ve already written it. Its set on the French Riviera. Thanks for the logline though.

on May 16, 2019.

You can rewrite. Just saying. Every rewrite makes it better.

I am rewriting after a sale. Rewrites are real writing – just some advice.

In the 60’s far right politics was not popular in Europe. Something to consider.

on May 16, 2019.
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Agree with Leviathan. on the matter of specifying a date.   That may be necessary in a logline for a biographical or historical script.  But for a work of fiction, it is usually better to give a general time period unless the fictional story is embedded in a non-fictional event, such as  D-Day, the fall of Constantinople, the start of the Meiji Restoration.  Which does not appear to be the case with this story.

Singularity Answered on May 15, 2019.
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Yeah I was wondering that. I kept it in there because someone thought it would be a 90-year-old Nazi.

Mentor Answered on May 16, 2019.

Hmm. Perhaps I’ll chop off “1961” for the series logline. Keep it for the pilot logline.

on May 16, 2019.
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i’m not sure whether “Nazi” is right. The antagonist is a double agent. An American agent who worked for the Nazis and is simply a pawn. Less a twist and more something slowly revealed to us. I dunno – perhaps for simplicity I should keep “Nazi”.

Mentor Answered on May 16, 2019.
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Also – I managed to get a request with this logline.

I also got one with the very earliest one…

A retired spy living the high life on the French Riviera must confront his dark, shameful past when he is blackmailed into entrapping a Nazi war criminal.

And this middle one…

In 1961, a British double agent is blackmailed with his past crimes by a former colleague, and forced to spy on a suspected Nazi war criminal, now an American jet-setter living on the French Riviera.

And the very oldest (which I began with)…

A rich playboy with a dark past is summoned back to his old life as a spy – but is soon entangled in a complex web of sex, betrayal and deception.

I managed a read request on BL with that one (which probably means nothing ha).

I mean – perhaps one of these would be good for pilot loglines? I dunno.

Mentor Answered on May 16, 2019.
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