In a dystopian future, when reaching ‘working age,’ teenage rebel defys his destiny set by a leading class oppressors and will fight for living life his own way, even if it means death.
Sounds like he’s escaping communism.
Don’t write the logline as though it’s an affect — examine the formula structure and really think about what your story essence truly is about.
His destiny means nothing to me. I don’t know him.
Fight for living life is what everyone does, every day. Tell us what he really faces in this tale.
His own way? Again, I don’t know this guy.
Means death? How and why does it mean death and what what must he do to avoid the death before what may happen?
This reads like a generic kids-flipping-the-finger-and-rebelling-against-repressive-adult-authority trope of the coming of age genre. What this logline lacks, what it needs, is a particular hook, a specific and unique take on the trope. As was the the case, for example, with the “Hunger Games” and “Divergent” franchises, for instance, both set in dystopian futures.
>>>Does it have all other ingredients?
The antagonist needs to be specific. “Leading class oppressors” is general. And by specific I mean there needs to be an alpha “class oppressor” who dominates and personifies the whole system. As in “The Hunger Games”. Katniss Everdeen is fighting the oppressive regime of Panam, but the specific person she is fighting against is President Snow. He is the face of Panem; he is her nemesis. Who is the face of your “class oppressors”? Who is your protagonist’s nemesis?
LIkewise the protagonist’s objective goal needs to be made specific and concrete. “Will fight for living life his own way” can mean anything and everything. How does “his own way” translate into a distinct objective goal?
>>>something I am passionate about
If you are passionate enough to write the script, you are hooked on the premise. Great! Now the challenge is to hook the rest of us on your premise so that we will want to read the script, see the film.