In a dystopian right wing world. A terrorist group is planting boxes holding either cash or explosives, opening it makes you rich or dead. A poor man and his friend find one and try to figure out what to do.
I have the theme/question
“It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees”
The man doesn’t believe this in the beginning. But after having the opportunity for wealth tease him. He begins to see his life for what it is comprise and suffering. Here is the logline:
When a poor yet content man finds a box that may contain money or a bomb left by a terrorists, and after failed attempts to discover its contents he finally deciding it is better to die than live on your knees.
Thanks for any feedback. For tone think “Children of Men”.
I am still struggling with the theme. I have the story and even the mood and tone in my head. But the theme, is escaping me. The central dramatic question. Something like “would you kill for love?”
I write around theme and question. I can’t find it in this story. I would appreciate if you would tell me the questions this logline poses for you (theme questions).
How about something like:
Participants in a reality TV show have two hours to find and disarm a timer attached to ‘trick or treat’ boxes. When the timer reaches zero, either a lethal bomb explodes or acid dissolves a million dollars.
I think it enhances the stakes if there’s the possibility of the money being lost as well as their lives. And unlike the original logline, it has an explicit sense of urgency, a ticking clock.
This would work as an ensemble film with the climax and outcomes for all the characters being revealed in the final moments. (And maybe they work in teams, too, so there can be plenty of frantic and angry dialogue.
How many characters will the story need? Well, here are possible outcomes:
Fail to disarm the timer: “Boom!” — a bomb kills the player
Fail to disarm the timer: “Boom!” — a bomb explodes, but the player scrambles away just in time to survive (wounded).
Successfully disarm the timer: No “Boom!” — there’s no bomb — but there’s no money either.
Fail to disarm the timer: Acid released, dissolving the money. At least the player has the consolation prize of still being alive.
Successfully disarm the timer: No bomb, no acid released – the player wins the grand prize
His final decision…
>>>it is better to die than live on your knees.
…doesn’t seem to follow from his initial state of mind.
>>>When a poor yet content man
And in “Children of Men” the character goes from despair to hope, from having nothing worthwhile to live for to dying for something worthwhile.