When a disillusioned married woman is absorbed by a surrealist painting, she struggles to develop the power to free herself from the painting before becoming part of it, while falling in love with a man of painting.

Answered
    Logliner Posted on May 19, 2018 in Fantasy.

    I don’t know what happened but here is the original logline before my correction:

    In an exhibition, after a woman enters a painting, her boyfriend must look for the painter before he leaving the exhibition. 

    on May 20, 2018.
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    4 Review(s)
      Best answer

      Is there a bigger story than what you are presenting in your logline?

      Because as written, the inciting incident is way bigger than the goal.

      Inciting incident: The lead character’s girlfriend gets trapped in a painting
      Goal: lead must ‘find a guy’

      How I picture the story going after reading the logline:

      “Excuse me, are you the painter, no?”
      “Excuse me, do you know where the painter is?”
      “I think I saw him on the second floor”
      “Cool, thanks”
      “Excuse me are you the painter? You are! Great, could you help me?
      “My girlfriend seems to have gotten trapped in one of your paintings, could you get her out for me before you leave the exhibit? You will? That would be great, thanks.”

      Boyfriend patiently waits at the bar while the painter gets his girlfriend out of the painting.

      The End

      I’m assuming there is more to the lead character’s goal than just finding a guy? If so, I would try adding what he must do to save his girlfriend, because it will greatly improve your logline.

      Good luck, the set up sounds interesting.

      Singularity Answered on May 19, 2018.

      I had not realized. You’re absolutely right. The inciting incident is more powerful than the protagonist’s objective. When reading this, I think I should write from the point of view of the woman and she be the protagonist. And forget about her boyfriend, it’s a parallel story. That’s what I believe, I hope to improve. Thanks for you great comment!

      on May 20, 2018.
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        It’s a really interesting thought by Richiev — inciting incident being bigger than the goal

        Ok. This is a logline with superb potential. Maybe introduce a ticking clock; people trapped in his paintings get frozen after a day. It would be cool if the painter practiced the dark “arts” and trapped people in his paintings…maybe that’s why his paintings are so surreal and realistic!! – “When his wife goes missing in a surrealistic exhibition…”
        good luck

        Summitry Answered on May 19, 2018.

        I definitely think there is potential for this idea as well

        on May 19, 2018.
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          I , too, think the idea has potential, but what concerns me is that the more interesting story line goes unaddressed in the logline: the predicament of the woman.

          The man has a problem, and as the others said, it seems to be a simple one: find the painter.  Meanwhile,  the woman is surely on an adventure, a stranger in a strange new world. What dramatic problem does the situation create for her?  What danger is she in?

          Singularity Answered on May 19, 2018.

          Yes. I also thought that the woman is in a new world and with exciting adventures, but I did not know how to write so much information. However I think I could already write that. Thank you !

          on May 20, 2018.
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            I don’t know what happened but here is the original logline before my correction:

            In an exhibition, after a woman enters a painting, her boyfriend must look for the painter before he leaving the exhibition. 

            Logliner Answered on May 20, 2018.
            Add Comment

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