In a fantasy world he creates, an aspiring young actor lives his life as an acclaimed star but is unable to live like this in the real world because he fears he isn’t really good enough.

nickolase77 Penpusher Asked on May 18, 2017 in Coming of Age.
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3 Review(s)

You have given us “Life as normal”
This is how a story begins.

1: Life is normal
2: Something disrupts the norm
3: This leads to a goal for the lead character
4: Which then sets the lead characters course of action.
5: There is always something standing on the way of the lead character achieving his goal… This is called conflict and it is the most important element of any story.

Sometimes there is a ticking clock
sometimes there is a bit of irony.

You have only given us #1 life is normal.

The logline would consist of all these elements (In about 25 words)

Richiev Singularity Reviewed on May 18, 2017.

Any better?

An aspiring young actor strives to discover who he is and what he has to offer in a world where he is constantly having to mold himself to fit what others want.

on May 18, 2017.

It would help if the lead character had a tangible goal that could be expressed in the logline

on May 18, 2017.

What do you mean by tangible goal? Could you give an example?

on May 18, 2017.

A tangible goal would be getting a specific part in a movie, or winning the love of a specific love interest.
an intangible goal would be, finding himself

on May 18, 2017.
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Listen to Richiev.

Your logline is lacking the most important element of a plot – a goal. Check out the ‘Formula’ tab on the top bar.

Think of a logline as a simple statement of a need and obstacle, this way the reader can easily understand what the conflict will be.

Start off with an inciting incident, which will motivate the main character to NEED to achieve a goal. If you have an actor as the MC what event would motivate him to have to achieve a specific goal?

Nir Shelter Singularity Reviewed on May 18, 2017.
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Try amping up “what others want” into more of a antagonistic challenge somehow. Maybe a boss figure?

Foxtrot25 Mentor Reviewed on May 19, 2017.
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