DSO HolicPenpusher Posted: August 28, 20192019-08-28T23:02:25+10:00 2019-08-28T23:02:25+10:00In: Action In a world where people are segregated and opposed depending on their birth month, men born in the month of January every few years are sent to an isolated island to fight to the death to provide live entertainment to millions of worldwide viewers. – Share Facebook 4 Reviews Voted Oldest Recent Mike Pedley United Kingdom (UK) 66 Loglines 610 Reviews 99 Best Reviews 50,931 Points View Profile Mike Pedley Singularity 2019-08-29T00:30:38+10:00Added an answer on August 29, 2019 at 12:30 am Other than the method of choosing and that it’s all men, how is this idea different to Hunger Games? Or Battle Royale? With both of these examples, there is a reason this is done ?(it’s quite similar) – government control. I’m not saying it has to be very different but there has to be something that sets it apart to be noticed. At the moment, this is simply the world in which the story is set. This has all happened before the opening credits and through a couple of exposition heavy scenes will be relayed to the audience within the first 5 minutes or so. What is the actual story you’re trying to tell? Who is the protagonist? It’s random chance that he’s selected… is there a way for him to volunteer (as per Katniss in Hunger Games – classic save the cat moment)? I’m guessing his goal is survival… but to what purpose? What statement are you trying to make with a film like this? I definitely think there’s more to be had from this idea but I want it to stand out from similar (and incredibly well known) alternatives. The most important thing at the moment though is to turn this into a logline rather than simply a summary of the world in which the film is set. Check out the formula page to help with formatting and give the Generator a go – it’s a really useful tool! Hope this helps. 0 Share Share Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on LinkedIn Share on WhatsApp dpg 105 Loglines 5,508 Reviews 554 Best Reviews 111,798 Points View Profile dpg Singularity 2019-08-29T03:38:44+10:00Added an answer on August 29, 2019 at 3:38 am Agree with mikepedley85.? It seems to be a clone of the “Hunger Games/Battle Royale” situation. What is new and different?? Other than the setup, what differentiates this story from those films?? (And unlike the other two, the setup seems rather capricious unmotivated.? There was a better motive in the madness of the other two.)? And it only sets up a situation; it lacks a specific plot and a designated protagonist.? And what is there in the movie to appeal to the 1/2 of the movie audience that is female? ? 0 Share Share Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on LinkedIn Share on WhatsApp Richiev 61 Loglines 3,386 Reviews 307 Best Reviews 81,359 Points View Profile Richiev Singularity 2019-08-29T09:44:19+10:00Added an answer on August 29, 2019 at 9:44 am In a story, you have a lead character, who has a goal, then there is something standing in the way of that goal. (Your logline doesn’t have any of these elements) 0 Share Share Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on LinkedIn Share on WhatsApp giannisggeorgiou 12 Loglines 130 Reviews 17 Best Reviews 4,741 Points View Profile giannisggeorgiou Samurai 2019-09-07T21:32:08+10:00Added an answer on September 7, 2019 at 9:32 pm I agree that I find hard to get over how arbitrary the criterion for the segregation is. How do you justify it in your mind? Perhaps there is some meaning, but we don’t see it yet. Plus, this world already exists: try getting a date if you are a Gemini in my country. Sorry, couldn’t help it. 0 Share Share Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on LinkedIn Share on WhatsApp You must login to can add an answer. Username or email* Password* Captcha* Remember Me! Forgot Password?