In an Australian offshore detention centre, a Syrian army medic refugee and her daughter fight for a visa to Australia despite the corrupt authorities and building tensions between the refugees.
Maybe something like:
In an Australian offshore detention centre, a Syrian refugee and her daughter fight for a visa despite corrupt authorities while enduring violence and death threats from other refugees.
A worthy and highly controversial subject.
My understanding is that there is almost zero chance of any refugee obtaining a visa for any reason. Period. Full stop . The story seems to place the outcome of the protagonist’s struggle at the mercy of other people; by his own wits and efforts he cannot prevail. I hope you’ve got a clever and credible resolution to the characters’ predicament — if it’s a happy one. And it would strengthen the marketing potential of the story if it is at least “based upon” or “inspired by” real events, the struggles of real people.
Best wishes with your script.
>>fight for their right to peace and safety
What does peace and safety look like? On screen, it looks like getting into Australia. That’s the object goal that is the solution to lack of “the peace and safety”. So frame a logline in terms of the specific objective goal (a visual) that solves the general problem. In the “Star Wars: A New Hope” the Death Star threatens peace and safety for everyone. Ergo. the objective goal: destroy the Death Star.
>>Not sure how real it is
I should think that veracity would be an the feature that sells the series. And what keeps the audience coming back week after week. Truth is stranger than fiction — and more interesting.