Sex , psychism and cigarettes. Oh my. A small town, southern girl migrates to the big city where she meets two professional women and begins a ritual of food, friendship, and betrayal; but when sudden memories of her past arise, she struggles to decide the best path to redemption.

    Sugar and Shopping and Other Novel Addictions

    Default Posted on June 20, 2013 in Public.
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    4 Review(s)

      Hi

      What’s the i.i that spurs on the change/journey? (Inner and outer conflicts come across very vague. Give us details)
      “A woman”…that can be anyone. Give us some characteristics, what’s her occupation, her flaws, goals, an Antagonist/obstacles etc.

      Penpusher Answered on June 20, 2013.
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        Still working on it. Thank you

        Default Answered on June 20, 2013.
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          HI phoenixx50,

          Pretty much what Andrew said —

          It reads a bit like a tagline as opposed to a logline — to avoid that it’s a good idea to reveal specific events that propel the characters through the story, as well as specifics about the characters (or character) so we the readers know who this story is about and what they have to do; i.e. state WHO these woman are (High School Teachers/ High School Clique now all grown-up/ Neighbors/ etc etc etc…) and what the main issue IS:

          “Three young professional woman, a former High School clique, reunite after the death of their undeclared leader, and help each other through their own addictions to deal with each others grief.”

          …nqr… but I hope that helps…

          Best of luck.

          Samurai Answered on June 20, 2013.
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            Thank you. It does.

            Default Answered on June 20, 2013.
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