Jacob Foster is a lone traveler, he escaped home when he was 18 and hasn’t stopped moving since, however when he receives a message that his mother has fallen fatally ill, he must decide whether he can confront the haunting memories of his childhood.

    Penpusher Posted on June 23, 2019 in Drama.
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      The purpose of a  logline is to succinctly summarize a plot for a script.  A plot is not about what a character deciding whether to do something, but the consequences that follow from a decision the character actually makes.

      In the case of this logline, the protagonist is going to return home, isn’t he?  He will face the bad memories, right?  Otherwise, there’s no plot.  So frame the logline in terms of the action that follows from the decision he makes. 

      Specifically, the logline needs to indicate his objective goal,  Why is he going home in spite of the bad memories?  An objective goal is what he looks forward to accomplishing in the future, not backwards to remembering about his past.

      Also,  loglines usually don’t mention the name of a fictional protagonist.   Rather they define rather than name the character.  In this case, he seems to be a vagabond, a nomad.  “Jacob Foster is a lone traveler, he escaped home when he was 18 and hasn’t stopped moving since” — that’s all backstory and need not be included in the logline.  “When he receives a message that his mother has fallen fatally ill”  seems to be the inciting incident, where the plot, hence, the logline, should start.

      Check out “Our Formula” for basic information on writing an industry acceptable logline.

      fwiw

      Singularity Answered on June 23, 2019.
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        Here are two slightly different attempts.

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        “When he receives a message that his mother is fatally ill, a loner with an abusive childhood reluctantly returns home to take care of his mother while congfronting the ghosts from his past.”

        “When he receives a message that his mother is fatally ill, a loner with an abusive childhood reluctantly returns home to take care of his mother while also having to deal with his drunk and abusive father”

        Singularity Answered on June 24, 2019.
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