Peanut and Cracker Jack — To get back in the game a disgraced little league coach must turn a team of awkward, couch-potato kids with one superstar and the rival coach’s spurned daughter into champions.

    Penpusher Posted on April 8, 2016 in Family.
    Add Comment
    2 Review(s)

      This strikes me as another version of the   “Bad News Bears” formula.  Well, it’s been a money-maker in the past.  Maybe it’ll appeal to a new generation of kids.  But I don’t see anything that makes this logline stand out,  that adds a clever and irresistible ingredient to the formula.

      fwiw

      Singularity Answered on April 8, 2016.

      Actually it’s a Bad News Bears meets Karate Kid  type movie. And though it involves Little League baseball it’s more Karate Kid Than BNB.
      I agree with your assessment. Just not sure how to fix it in the limited confines/real estate of a logline.  I’m not one of those afraid of giving something away but trying to give the overall plot and  more detail is tough. For example:  A video (made by the rival coach’s daughter) of the coach cussing out his old team goes viral and he get’s suspended and blacklisted. Unknown to ‘Cracker’ Jack the daughter, Peanut, is not the rival’s daughter but his and the video was of him cussing out the team but giving a life lesson (Yeah, hard to explain.). The story/plot revolves around a quote by the great basketball coach, John Wooden:  “Reputation is what you are perceived to be. Character is what you are.” Jack , a former MVP in Triple A, is miss-perceived in  so  many ways.

      on April 9, 2016.
      Add Comment

        What DPG said.

        Also best to describe a plot with a definitive start and end point, in other words an inciting incident and goal.

        Why is the coach disgraced? What put him out of the game? Use this as the inciting incident.

        What does turn the team mean? Does it mean to make them better? How will he know that he has successfully turned them around? do they need to beat the current state champion team? What ever it is use it as the goal.

        Singularity Answered on April 8, 2016.

        An attempt to employ your recommendations:

         A coach, branded as verbally abusive, must teach a bank president’s superstar grandson, his wealthy clients’ couch-potato boys and a girl about baseball and life to win the city championship.

        on April 9, 2016.
        Add Comment

        Your Review

        By posting your review, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.