Recovering from his suicide attempt, a famous techno artist regains his passion for music as he falls in love with a transsexual woman painter with internalized transphobia, for whom he will sacrifice his popularity for her to realize her worth.

    Penpusher Posted 5 days ago in Drama.
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      >>>a transsexual woman painter with internalized transphobia…

      Say what? A transsexual person with internalized transphobia? What does that mean?  How does that complicate the painter’s relationship with the artist?  Please clarify.

      Singularity Answered 5 days ago.

      Internalized transphobia are feelings of shame for being trans brought by discrimination and bigotry a transgender person experiences in society.

      5 days ago.
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        Thanks for the clarification.

        Who is the protagonist, the main character, the pov /focus character for the story?  The artist or the painter?  IOW: who is in the driver’s seat of the plot?

        Singularity Answered 5 days ago.

        Story structure is interweaving plotline between both of their struggles, which mirror each other.

        5 days ago.
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          Okay.  Stories that are anchored by and whose primary focus is a romantic relationship can have what amounts to dual protagonists.

          Now then.  You can expect a producer or director to expend 12-15 seconds of their precious time reading  a logline.  So  every word must matter, must make an impression.  Brevity is not just a virtue, it’s a necessity.

          The current version of this logline is 40 words in length.  Which , based upon my study of  875 loglines (to date), is the upper limit for the length of an industry standard logline .   So  I would suggest pruning out the phrase about internalized transphobia because: 1]I don’t think it’s obvious what that means ( it certainly wasn’t to me).  A logline should be self-explanatory, a statement that can be immediately understood. 2] I think most people  apprehend intuitively that transsexuals endure formidable social and psychological challenges and conflicts.  Even those whose values are  not in sympathy  with the transsexual community.  (And if they aren’t in sympathy, they’re not going to respond favorably to your logline no matter how you word it, right?)

          Finally, a logline is a statement of characters objective goal, not their subject needs.  Why? Because  film is a visual medium;  attaining an objective goals can be seen.  The objective goal of the USA women’s soccer team was to win the world cup. How do we know they succeeded?  Because we saw them score points, saw them hoist the cup in victory.

          So what’s the visual for “realize her worth”?   What does that look like?  What will an audience see on the screen that let’s them know they couple have succeeded?  What is their common objective goal? Or their commensurate goals?

          fwiw

          Singularity Answered 5 days ago.

          Thank you for such a thoughtful comment. I appreciate it!

          5 days ago.
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            I’m not quite sure of the connection between helping someone overcome their transphobia and giving up their popularity.

            If the lead character gives up his popularity, the painter would still be transphobic.

            (Obviously there a piece of the story missing that bridges this gap and would probably be important to the logline)

            Singularity Answered 5 days ago.
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