SHORT: A stickler for justice and fairness rejected by his peers must prevent a lynching when a hostage situation turns into mayhem with the crowd surrounding the kidnapper.

    Logliner Posted on May 13, 2019 in Drama.
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    3 Review(s)

      Era would be great. The stickler description seems like a bit of a clunky. Does it really impact. If you remove it. The line still works because most people will not support murder, even if the person deserves it.

      A man must prevent a crowd from hanging a man when a hostage situation goes wrong.

      You have heaps of space for more story detail.

      Summitry Answered on May 13, 2019.
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        There is definitely a story here.

        As for the logline, in this particular case, I think you should add what makes the lead character in a position to do something.

        Is the lead character a police deputy (Perhaps a small town deputy) who has never drawn his gun.

        Is the lead character a lawyer?

        Is the lead character perhaps the person who owns the building the kidnapper is occupying, and so is in a position to stop the lynch mob simply because the lead has all the keys and knows the lay of the land?

        You say rejected by peers… peers to what?

        Singularity Answered on May 13, 2019.
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          Seems to me that it might be more interesting if the protagonist was the first hostage taken, or the one most abused by the hijacker.  Hence, he not only must  overcome the emotional response of the others, but overcome his own  emotions in order to rescue his hijacker/persecutor.  As currently written, what’s his character arc?  He’s already on the side of the angels.

          What bruised and bleeding skin does he have in the game?

          fwiw

          Singularity Answered on May 14, 2019.
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