Six unknowingly linked and naive characters in, Edinburgh and London, struggle to find love in their stormy relationships before it is too late.

    Penpusher Posted on December 9, 2019 in Romance.
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    3 Review(s)

      In the hands of the right writer/director, this could be an interesting picture, but the logline doesn’t sell it. Multi-protagonist is hard to pull off as it is, so I’m afraid SIX undefined characters is a little much. Also, why two cities? And what does ‘before it is too late’ mean?

      My first advice would be to focus on ONE character in the logline, so you can give us detail and depth.

      (I have taken the liberty to fix the punctuation.)

      Samurai Answered on December 9, 2019.

      Thank you Karel for you productive comments, and for fixing the punctuation. I will work on it.

      on December 9, 2019.
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        As Karel said.  Although in romances, where plots usually pivot on a relationship, a logline focusing on dual protagonists may work.

        Also I suggest “before it is too late” needs clarification.  Too late for what?  Like, is a female’s biological click ticking?  Or…?

        Singularity Answered on December 10, 2019.
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          This logline seems to be written from the outside looking in, instead of from the characters point of view.

          As a result, the logline comes across impersonal and as Karel said, the logline doesn’t sell (The Story)

           

          Singularity Answered on December 10, 2019.
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