Son of an Indian couple – who deeply believes in Gandhian ideals of nonviolence, accidentally kills a powerful man to protect his father. While the family on run, the son and father fiercely stands against each other’s way to fight out the enemy.

    Penpusher Posted on February 24, 2016 in Family.
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    4 Review(s)

      It’s no mystery to me why in that culture the whole family must flee because of the mistake of one member.

      But the logline is confusing to me on several points:

      Is it the son (only) who believes in Gandhi’s  non-violence teaching.  Or the father?  Or both?

      And does the whole family flee? Or do the father and son remain behind to fight?

      And who is the enemy?  I presume it’s someone who belongs to the the dead man’s clan.

      And what becomes the son’s objective goal and strategy?  Is it merely a maintenance goal — to stay alive by killing those seeking to kill him?  Or must he save his life by ultimately proving his killing was justified?

      Singularity Answered on February 25, 2016.

      Agree on the point one.. I meant the parents following the non violence..
      For point 2,3,4 . Do these explanation need to come in the logline?

      on February 25, 2016.
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        So… the son has broken the father’s Inviolate Rule about not resorting to violence.  That can be a source of ongoing conflict in the plot, a moral debate between the father and son on how to deal with oppression and threats.  And I like stories with a strong moral argument, with equally legitimate claims or positions in headlong conflict.  But that’s a secondary story line, not the primary one.

        The primary story line is what the son must do about the more urgent problem of  the dead man’s kin (and/or henchmen) coming for revenge.   The logline doesn’t say.  It should. 

        As Nir Shelter said, the logline should focus on the primary story line which is about how  the son intends to prevail against those who are out to  take revenge, to kill him..  The logline need not focus on the secondary story line, the moral argument and discord between father and son.

        So, how, specifically, does the son plan to fight for his life against those who seek to kill him?

        Singularity Answered on February 25, 2016.
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          I think there is a great story here, but there is too much going on in this logline. If you focus on why the family is going on the run and what their goal is, the father and son’s conflict will have greater weight. Try a variation on: When [x happens] a son must overcome his father’s pacifist nature in order to guide his family to [x]. Great story here! Happy writing!

          Penpusher Answered on February 24, 2016.

          Thank you ..makes sense.

          on February 25, 2016.
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            What DPG said.

            The reasons for taking action and the goals are un clear.

            In the next draft best to focus on a single conflict son v bad guy and the specific details of that struggle, than elaborate on the tensions in the family.

            Singularity Answered on February 25, 2016.
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