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henbSamurai
Asked: June 1, 20192019-06-01T12:10:18+10:00 2019-06-01T12:10:18+10:00In: Thriller

The Balcony-Scaler, The Train-Feeder, The Skin-Scratcher, and The Pornographic-Men. All serial killers. Their crimes committed the same decade, inside the same city where detectives will lose hope in search of justice.

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    1. Richiev

      Richiev

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      Richiev Singularity
      2019-06-01T13:24:20+10:00Added an answer on June 1, 2019 at 1:24 pm

      Is logline for a series? or a movie?

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    2. lempicka

      lempicka

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      lempicka Logliner
      2019-06-01T19:44:54+10:00Added an answer on June 1, 2019 at 7:44 pm

      I like the names and the set-up, but I’m not sure who the protagonist is, or what the stakes are. Is the story from the POV of one of the detectives? Are all these serial killers in league with one another?

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    3. dpg

      dpg

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      dpg Singularity
      2019-06-02T03:06:29+10:00Added an answer on June 2, 2019 at 3:06 am

      Like lempicka I’m not sure who is the protagonist or what the plot is, necessary elements that a logline should clearly indicate.?

      ?

      >>The serial killers were assigned to the the city.

      Need to know information that ought to be in the logline because it’s an element that sets the film apart from other films in the crime genre about serial killers.

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    4. kid_gokuu

      kid_gokuu

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      kid_gokuu Logliner
      2019-06-02T12:00:51+10:00Added an answer on June 2, 2019 at 12:00 pm

      I like the overall idea, even without a clear protagonist the logline seems to hold its own. I think that if you’re gonna go down the route of each detective taking on a different serial killer, the could be a clearer struggle. You allude to the losing hope in the logline, that seems to be the stakes you’re trying to portray, maybe you can turn it around by giving the detectives something to give them hope, like a lead that could possibly tie the serial killers together.

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    5. henb

      henb

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      henb Samurai
      2019-10-20T21:43:10+10:00Added an answer on October 20, 2019 at 9:43 pm

      LOGLINE UPDATE #1:

      Detectives lose hope in search of justice after it becomes apparent a variety of serial killers are active inside the same city and multiple murders are committed within the span of a decade.

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