The Balcony-Scaler, The Train-Feeder, The Skin-Scratcher, and The Pornographic-Men. All serial killers. Their crimes committed the same decade, inside the same city where detectives will lose hope in search of justice.

    Samurai Posted on June 1, 2019 in Thriller.

    title: THE CITY THAT MURDER BUILT

    on June 1, 2019.
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    5 Review(s)

      Is logline for a series? or a movie?

      Singularity Answered on June 1, 2019.

      Movie.

      on June 2, 2019.

      Then you need a lead character with a goal

      on June 2, 2019.

      It’s an ensemble piece, with the lead characters’ goal being the search for justice.

      on June 2, 2019.

      That’s cool,

      However, you should have an innocent rookie who starts off as an optimist, and through the film loses hope in the search of justice.

      The more idealistic the rookie is at the beginning of the film the more the audience will relate as, throughout the film, he loses hope.

      It would also be through his eyes the audience would meet the ensemble cast of detectives.

      In other words, you say the detectives will lose hope in search of justice, but that should be done as an idealistic rookie slowly ‘loses his religion’  (Metaphorically speaking) during the course of the story.

      Anyway, the story sounds interesting, good luck with this!

      on June 2, 2019.

      Thanks, those are good suggestions.

      on June 2, 2019.
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        I like the names and the set-up, but I’m not sure who the protagonist is, or what the stakes are. Is the story from the POV of one of the detectives? Are all these serial killers in league with one another?

        Samurai Answered on June 1, 2019.

        It is mostly from the point of the view of the detectives assigned to each case. With some sequences from the perspective of the serial killers and their victims. The serial killers were assigned to the the city.

        on June 2, 2019.

        OK – thanks. If it’s a film, I think you probably need something to tie it together overall – is it an ensemble piece like Crash where all the different threads of story converge?

        on June 2, 2019.

        I imagine the script being sort of like an anthology. Every 1-2 years a certain serial killer is being investigated. Each segment will feature a new detective (or set of detectives) who will try to catch the killer(s). I’m picturing for the script that one of the detectives introduced around the start will return to investigate serial murders for the final segment.

        on June 2, 2019.
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          Like lempicka I’m not sure who is the protagonist or what the plot is, necessary elements that a logline should clearly indicate. 

           

          >>The serial killers were assigned to the the city.

          Need to know information that ought to be in the logline because it’s an element that sets the film apart from other films in the crime genre about serial killers.

          Singularity Answered on June 2, 2019.

          Thanks, I will try to incorporate those elements into an updated version of this logline.

          on June 2, 2019.
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            I like the overall idea, even without a clear protagonist the logline seems to hold its own. I think that if you’re gonna go down the route of each detective taking on a different serial killer, the could be a clearer struggle. You allude to the losing hope in the logline, that seems to be the stakes you’re trying to portray, maybe you can turn it around by giving the detectives something to give them hope, like a lead that could possibly tie the serial killers together.

            Penpusher Answered on June 2, 2019.

            Good idea! Thanks!

            on June 2, 2019.
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              LOGLINE UPDATE #1:

              Detectives lose hope in search of justice after it becomes apparent a variety of serial killers are active inside the same city and multiple murders are committed within the span of a decade.

              Samurai Answered on October 20, 2019.
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