Trapped in an abandon house by a storm two gangsters engage in a battle of wits and violence try to ensure their own safety regardless of whose side arrives first.
It’s true we don’t have to like a protag, but then we should relate to him in some way or see some hope in him.
TV and movies are different and a bad guy movie protag is a rare success, even among the low-budget thrillers on Netflix. (Not bad for the writer to get produced and released on Netflix, the point is to consider if the story is as strong as it can be. ) However, Breaking Bad supports my point because we relate to Walter White in the pilot as a smart and nice family man who’s been dealt a bad hand in life, and then we relate to his motive of wanting to provide for his children. Something like Training Day with bad cop Denzel doesn’t even compare to this story because the audience relates to the co-lead Ethan Hawke’s character and he’s the one with the arc.
With one being a snitch in hiding, it sounds like there is a grey-area guy the reader (not yet an audience!) will have hopes for, at least at the start.
>> Hiding for years after being a snitch, a man is forced to provide refuge to an associate from his criminal past…
Is this still in the warehouse during the storm? Say more than hiding, like what he does for work or if he’s literally on the run or doesn’t settle anywhere for long. Say more than associate or specify the past crime.
>>He tries to leverage the criminal’s situation to his advantage triggering a battle of wills, threats and eventually death.
Vague and confusing. Next attempt, add specifics. What is the snitch’s plan? What is his objective? What is the conflict, what makes it hard for him to achieve it? Don’t they both have leverage over each other, not just the snitch over the criminal? No need to reveal anything from Act III and improving the rest should imply it.
>> Then realise that if the opposition turns up first they’ll need the other person alive to vouch for them.
When do they realize this? Seems it wouldn’t take long, but then what is the conflict if they do not try to kill each other? What is the mental picture?
With gangsters as co-leads, why should we care who wins? If there is a good guy who is a grey-area gangster, then flesh him out as so in the logline. Regardless, say more about both. Think of the character’s arc, the theme, etc.
I think it’s a solid idea, but would really require strong writing to pull it off. I would say a script like Reservoir Dogs would be a good script to reference for your writing. The whole movie, for the most part, takes places in a warehouse and involves a similar battle of wits, however with more characters involved.