The televised poker tournament is on an hour break and the chip leader is locked in a utility closet; she hears a bomb ticking. Can she defuse it and get back in time to win?
On the plus side, the productions costs would certainly be minimal as most of the action would take place in one very small set.
On the negative side, the logline posits a situation where at first, fleeting glance her struggle and suffering (mental anguish) seems to have no obvious meaning or purpose; ergo it reads contrived, her suffering and struggle gratuitous. We have no clue who is the adversary who locked her in the closed or what his or her motive is.
Compare this logline with the protagonist in “Phone Booth” (2002), who is pinned down by a sniper in a phone booth to make him confess his infidelities in order to have his life sparred. The hook of the story is not just the what, that’s he’s pinned down by sniper fire in a phone booth — but also the why, because the sniper knows he’s a phony. (Word play intended.)
(Btw, I hear Harvey Weinstein has been cast for the lead in the re-make and this time the sniper will be female. The sniper role has become the most coveted role in the history of Hollyweird.) 🙂
Anyway, I’m guessing there’s a why in this story. I suggest there needs to be at least a hint of it in the logline.