This is an idea I’ve had for a while for a short film: After a depressed alien calls into a radio show and threatens to destroy the city, the host, a suicidal middle aged woman, must talk down the alien and prevent mass destruction.

Gabe Penpusher Asked on August 9, 2017 in Comedy.
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4 Review(s)

Why does the host believe the alien is an alien and not a crazy person pretending to be an alien?

Richiev Singularity Reviewed on August 10, 2017.

She doesn’t believe the alien is an alien at first. The alien convinces her.

on August 10, 2017.
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The inciting incident needs to be irrevocable proof that a danger to the city exists, or else it fails to provide the necessary and sudden shift in the world of the MC.

Secondly, about the goal: just talking a terrorist out of doing the bad thing they intend to do is not enough. If someone outright threatens the lives of all the people in the city I live in, I would have to catch them and put them in jail to rest at ease. The goal, therefore, doesn’t match up to the stakes at hand. Perhaps make it so she needs to keep him on the line long enough for the authorities to trace his call and find his location.

Nir Shelter Singularity Reviewed 6 days ago.

Thanks Nir. Makes sense, very helpful.

5 days ago.
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>>>The alien convinces her.

In the space of a short film??  And then she has to convince him not to follow through???

Since it’s  a comedy, may it should be a running gag that she doesn’t believe he’s who he is and therefore doesn’t believe the threat is credible,

And since it’s a comedy,  there could be a flip in roles where he ends up talking her out of suicide.

fwiw

dpg Singularity Reviewed on August 11, 2017.

I appreciate the feedback. I think what you guys are saying and What I’ve come to realise is is that, the inciting incident, in this case, can reflect the actual state of affairs in the narrative or imply the realisation of the protagonist. I was doing the former, but what’s coming across is the latter. Okay that’s good to know, cheers.

on August 11, 2017.
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A quick floating question: why is the host “suicidal”, that almost seems like a trope-y trait at this point. How does her being suicidal correlate to the action of the story? Why would she care if the city is destroyed if she’s going to kill herself? Why would she even go to work — if she’s truly suicidal, that means she should be literally on the edge, not just thinking about it. Hope this helps.

Moses99 Mentor Reviewed on August 11, 2017.

Good food for thought, cheers.

1 week ago.
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