Title: The Getaway When a retired from crime convict is released from prison she must redeem herself to win back the trust of her daughter. But when her daughter ends up kidnapped by a criminal mastermind, she is put through multiple lethal corrupted jobs, to save her child before its too late, and risk going back to prison which she vowed to leave forever.

    Logliner Posted on February 13, 2020 in Crime.
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    2 Review(s)

      Why does the antagonist kidnap the daughter? What’s in it for the mastermind? A bad guy doesn’t just kidnap someone for nothing, especially if they’re going to great lengths to put the protagonist through this series of challenges. It’s obviously personal, so tell us what this connection is.

      Risking going back to prison is kinda a given. The fact the jobs are dangerous is kinda a given. She’s a criminal… goes with the territory. So what are the real stakes? And why?

      Singularity Answered on February 13, 2020.

      Yeah very good point, the bad guy has a motive just gotta figure out how to utilize it in the logline, cause he ends up using her for his own plan to wipe out other gang mobs so he can be the top dog again….and use her daughter as a blackmail sort of thing either do what he says or she dies…

       

      And you’re absolutely right about the going back to prison is a given, I can’t believe part of me said that didn’t sound right and still decided to add it, thank you for your help Mikepedley85. 🙂 ill revisit it.

      on February 13, 2020.

      No problem at all. Happy to help. That’s what this site is all about. Writing  a good logline is much harder than people ever imagine and it’s easy to critique when it’s not yours hahaha.

      on February 13, 2020.

      Lol yeah true that!! xD thats the crazy part! But live and learn this site is awesome for that, and the honesty is so appreciative so love this website for that reason too.

      on February 14, 2020.
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        Hi Keeks,

        I agree with Mike – especially about it being easier to critique someone else’s Logline than it is to write your own! LOL. Here are my thoughts:

        • I like your title… The Getaway suggests both the MC getting away from crime and maybe the new job she is forced to perform – could she be the getaway driver? (never seen a woman in this kind of role before).
        • Things to strip out as redundant in my mind are “retired from crime” – ex-con… I don’t think you need to state she’s just been released from prison?, “she is put through multiple… etc” – blackmailed to perform one last job, “risking going back to prison” – delete.
        • Maybe she is the best at what she did, and the criminal mastermind is an old boss/accomplice? Maybe their last job together landed her in jail? That could give them a connection and a reason for the mastermind (maybe another woman?) to kidnap her daughter as a means to blackmail her?
        Samurai Answered on February 14, 2020.

        Evening Trix,

        Interesting, Your last point is basically my initiative thought process about this protagonist and the antagonist as an old boss. I will definitely give tis more thought, you definitely help giving me different type of odds to utilize and structure my logline here stronger, something I should definitely think about Trix, thanks so very much for your guys input.

        on February 15, 2020.
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