Title: The Getaway When a retired from crime convict is released from prison she must redeem herself to win back the trust of her daughter. But when her daughter ends up kidnapped by a criminal mastermind, she is put through multiple lethal corrupted jobs, to save her child before its too late, and risk going back to prison which she vowed to leave forever.
Why does the antagonist kidnap the daughter? What’s in it for the mastermind? A bad guy doesn’t just kidnap someone for nothing, especially if they’re going to great lengths to put the protagonist through this series of challenges. It’s obviously personal, so tell us what this connection is.
Risking going back to prison is kinda a given. The fact the jobs are dangerous is kinda a given. She’s a criminal… goes with the territory. So what are the real stakes? And why?
I agree with Mike – especially about it being easier to critique someone else’s Logline than it is to write your own! LOL. Here are my thoughts:
- I like your title… The Getaway suggests both the MC getting away from crime and maybe the new job she is forced to perform – could she be the getaway driver? (never seen a woman in this kind of role before).
- Things to strip out as redundant in my mind are “retired from crime” – ex-con… I don’t think you need to state she’s just been released from prison?, “she is put through multiple… etc” – blackmailed to perform one last job, “risking going back to prison” – delete.
- Maybe she is the best at what she did, and the criminal mastermind is an old boss/accomplice? Maybe their last job together landed her in jail? That could give them a connection and a reason for the mastermind (maybe another woman?) to kidnap her daughter as a means to blackmail her?