NMSPenpusher Posted: October 25, 20192019-10-25T14:02:50+10:00 2019-10-25T14:02:50+10:00In: FamilyTo save their planet, a couple of aliens have come to earth in order to find the resources that help them develop their super powers.– ShareFacebook3 ReviewsVotedOldestRecentyqwertz 2 Loglines 108 Reviews 31 Best Reviews 5,069 Points View Profile yqwertz Mentor 2019-10-25T16:42:51+10:00Added an answer on October 25, 2019 at 4:42 pm You have told us what the aliens want, but not what stands in their way. If they are advanced enough to reach Earth, what is to stop them from taking the resources they want and leaving again?It would also strengthen your logline if a concrete inciting incident kicked off the quest. In other words, why do they need to save their planet now?Check out the Formula and Generator links at the top of the page for more hints on how to reformulate your logline for maximum impact.0 Share ShareShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on WhatsAppdpg 105 Loglines 5,540 Reviews 558 Best Reviews 111,896 Points View Profile dpg Singularity 2019-10-26T08:37:35+10:00Added an answer on October 26, 2019 at 8:37 am How do humans react?? What dramatic problem does their arrival create for humans?? Do the aliens pose a threat or do peple fear there is a threat??Who is the audience supposed to root for, the aliens, or, as in the case of “The Arrival” a human who understands and sympathizes with their quest, that they are benign??What are the stakes for homo sapiens sapiens?0 Share ShareShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on WhatsAppScott Danzig 20 Loglines 89 Reviews 6 Best Reviews 2,039 Points View Profile Scott Danzig Samurai 2019-10-27T00:19:02+10:00Added an answer on October 27, 2019 at 12:19 am I’m picturing a Superman prequel, where Kryptonians are treating earth as a “yellow sun spa”.? ?I think you have goals and stakes, so that’s good.? However, the “save the world” thing is a little ambiguous.? We can really use some sense of a “save the world from <what>” I think.? Also, I think you’re relying on tropes a bit much with the conflict.? Typically, when aliens visit earth, they have to stay incognito and avoid the military, who wants to capture/end them.? I guess that’s the danger here?? Or is earth somehow more of a proactive ally?? It’d be nice if we had a sense of what stance us earthlings had with regards to the alien heroes and their plight.0 Share ShareShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on WhatsAppYou must login to can add an answer. Username or email* Password* Remember Me! Forgot Password?