Upon realising he has a super-fan, the emotionally volatile singer of a struggling band initially feels flattered; but he allows this feeling to darken into something obsessive and unhealthy as he and the fan begin an illicit dance of mutual shadowing, pursuing each other without ever actually meeting. So when the fan’s interest begins to wane, her happiness and the wellbeing of those around her is threatened by his unwillingness to give up her adoration.
Luke RamsdenLogliner
Upon realising he has a super-fan, the emotionally volatile singer of a struggling band initially feels flattered; but he allows this feeling to darken into something obsessive and unhealthy as he and the fan begin an illicit dance of mutual shadowing, pursuing each other without ever actually meeting. So when the fan’s interest begins to wane, her happiness and the wellbeing of those around her is threatened by his unwillingness to give up her adoration.
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Who’s your lead? I’m guessing it’s the fan; shouldn’t have to guess. Like where the story is headed. Clarity is required.
I find the Rules section to be interesting and relevant. Hope it helps.
Looking forward for your revision. Good luck.
I like the twist, It’s a good hook, but the logline needs to be broken down into the stories core element
“After sending a fan letter to her favorite band, an adoring teen suddenly finds herself stalked by the groups lead singer who is obsessed with being loved”
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Possible Titles:
To die for
I want you to want me
I think Richiev is on the right tack, but this being the age of the internet:
When her fansite for her favorite band goes viral, an obsessive teen finds herself being stalked by the emotionally unstable lead singer.
(22 words)
This is predicated on the assumption that? the story entails a? pas de deux of two quasi-OCD people? She starts out as obsessed with the band as he becomes with her.