Upside down in a binge, pacifist Hank Thompson loses a key that belongs to the Russian mob; now Hank must find the key or die trying.
SeamooreLogliner
Upside down in a binge, pacifist Hank Thompson loses a key that belongs to the Russian mob; now Hank must find the key or die trying.
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>>>Upside down in a binge,
Not really necessary for the purpose of a logline.
Several question hang upside down in my mind:
How did a pacifist come to possess a key belonging to the Russian mob?
Maybe this will intrigue a logline reader, pique his curiousity to read the script and find the answer.
But…
What is the dramatic importance of the key to the mob? Why MUST they get it back? A logline reader needs to know the answer to this question up front.
This is for a series, and the key will get everyone he knows killed, but the audience won?t find out until the second season what its for. I wasn?t sure if its info I should divulge when it isn?t discussed in the bible.
The key was given to him unknowingly by his neighbor. Once he finds it in a blacked out state, he misplaces it. And doesn?t remember until the end of the 10th episode after everyone has been killed. ?the second season: Revenge filled he starts with no clue what it?s for.
A blacked out Henry Thompson loses a key that ?belongs to the Russian mob: ?We kill your baby, yes? Find key??
A logline pitches a film or series to the movie makers, not the movie viewers.? They’re the ones you’re trying to invest millions of dollars and years of their precious time in your project.? Even if you withhold it from the audience for the 1st season, the producers may want to know in order to determine if the series has “legs”.? Just saying.
And if everyone who knows about the key is killed, that needs to be in the logline;? that’s the story hook for the 1st season:? everyone who knows about or came into possession of the key is killed.? He’s next.? Which raises the dramatic question: Why?
If you are going to give your lead character the unusual trait of being a pacifist. You should show in the logline how the inciting puts him in a position where he must betray his beliefs… or else something bad will happen.