thedarkhorseSamurai Posted: May 2, 20202020-05-02T21:20:58+10:00 2020-05-02T21:20:58+10:00In: RomanceWhen a bad boy movie star agrees to a blind date, he ends up with his biggest fan – a struggling single mom, whom he falls for.– ShareFacebook5 ReviewsVotedOldestRecentthedarkhorse 102 Loglines 329 Reviews 17 Best Reviews 4,334 Points View ProfileBest Answer thedarkhorse Samurai 2020-05-02T21:25:20+10:00Added an answer on May 2, 2020 at 9:25 pm Could probably replace “agrees” with “goes on”. Admittedly – I’m sure this could be chopped down. Curious to know if the concept has much energy.Not sure if “whom he falls for” is a hook or twist. Certainly I hope “bad boy” and “struggling single mom” conjures up ideas of conflict.Also – on a side note. Has anyone read this book? Dpg? Richiev?https://www.amazon.co.uk/Getting-Write-Insiders-Screenwriting-Career/dp/1615931759/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=screenwriting+jessup&qid=1588346443&sr=8-1Apparently it’s the best one for the ever-mysterious business side of screenwriting. Which lets face it – is just as important if not more.Cheers 0 Share ShareShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on WhatsAppMike Pedley United Kingdom (UK) 67 Loglines 651 Reviews 102 Best Reviews 51,084 Points View ProfileBest Answer Mike Pedley Singularity 2020-05-03T23:34:17+10:00Added an answer on May 3, 2020 at 11:34 pm So what does he do next? At what point does he fall for the mom? End of Act I? Or midpoint? At the moment, for me, it feels as though the inciting incident is when he falls for her so that leads me to ask what he does next.I almost feel like, for the most amount of conflict, she’s not a super fan at all, but barely knows who he is. Maybe her daughter’s a big fan and she entered her mom into the competition. I’m thinking he probably has an ego and to meet someone who doesn’t care about that at all would provide more conflict than if she was a fan. If was all about the superstar lifestyle and that didn’t even register to her because she’s a single mom, I think he’s got much much further to go.I’m also wondering who the protagonist is. I kinda feel like she’s more interesting if you went with the idea above although it could even be a dual protagonist story. I do like the underlying idea though – like a reverse Notting Hill.Looking forward to seeing where this goes. 0 Share ShareShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on WhatsAppOdie 4 Loglines 50 Reviews 10 Best Reviews 944 Points View ProfileBest Answer Odie Logliner 2020-05-04T04:48:37+10:00Added an answer on May 4, 2020 at 4:48 am Can Jason Statham fall for a single mom? Sure, but I feel we are getting sucked into the Hallmark channel??.Breaking it down:Why now? Why are these two different worlds together? How about she wins a meet & greet contest with said bad boy movie starWho is she? She is a chill single mom Yoga instructorWhere is the rub/conflict? He botches the meet and greetsAfter botching a meet and greet with his biggest fan ? a single mom Yogi, a bad boy movie star must turn his hectic life around to find inner peace and true love.0 Share ShareShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on WhatsAppsavinh0 57 Loglines 90 Reviews 7 Best Reviews 3,318 Points View ProfileBest Answer savinh0 Samurai 2020-05-04T04:50:40+10:00Added an answer on May 4, 2020 at 4:50 am I love this concept! The logline is okay, but I feel like there is something missing.I would add a twist as a midpoint reversal to change the direction of the story. I think there is too little conflict in the logline right now or maybe it is not visible. What are they going to do as a couple after they fall in love? What is standing in their way? 0 Share ShareShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on WhatsAppRichiev 62 Loglines 3,403 Reviews 303 Best Reviews 81,554 Points View ProfileBest Answer Richiev Singularity 2020-05-04T13:25:09+10:00Added an answer on May 4, 2020 at 1:25 pm Where is the conflict?And what are the stakes?0 Share ShareShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on WhatsAppYou must login to add an answer. Username or email* Password* Remember Me! Forgot Password?