When a charming con artist settles down with a sweet yet gullible woman, he must spend Christmas with her dysfunctional family – and unexpectedly experiences the concept of family for the first time.

    Mentor Posted on November 7, 2019 in Family.
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    4 Review(s)

      I hope the conflict is innate here. Clearly he’ll have to unmask himself. Clearly he falls for the family. Not so clearly he begins as a Scrooge-like figure and softens up.

      Longer version: – why he can’t escape…
      Trapped in a small town because of snow storm, a charming con artist settles down with a sweet, wholesome woman and her family for the holidays Рand unexpectedly finds his first chance to have a real family.

      I think it’s too much to make the sweet wholesome woman a mark. I think it’s likely he’s trapped and she takes him in and they slowly fall for each other. Yet he’s still pretending to be someone else.

      (I think as a con artist, he’s more of a loner. He’s spent his whole life cutting off any emotional ties/attachments, etc. He’s less of a predator and more a Frank Abagnale figure. Came from a broken home. Always running. Yet eventually winds up back in his home town.)

      It’s sentimental – because it’s his old home town. There’s some scars here. Perhaps he finds his old house? Perhaps revisits the place where he first became a con artist or where he was made into one?

      Stakes: he could lose a family he grows to love and who grows to love him.
      Conflict: he’s essentially lying to everyone.

      What do you think?

      I’ll probably need a few hours to shave off some words I think. There’s potentially something here.

      (This is when you tell me it’s already a Hallmark film ha.)

      Mentor Answered on November 7, 2019.
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        Very long version: (yeah I’m gonna try to get this to under 25 words. Still playing around with it.)

        Trapped in his old home town during a snowstorm, a charming con artist settles down with a sweet yet gullible woman for the holidays, but must spend Christmas with her dysfunctional family – and unexpectedly falls in love with the family.

        Mentor Answered on November 7, 2019.
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          Okay…

          Perhaps this one?

          Trapped in his old hometown during a snowstorm, a charming con artist must spend Christmas with a dysfunctional family – and unexpectedly finds the family he never had.

          (27 words?)

          Mentor Answered on November 7, 2019.
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            In your last logline, it looks like you gave away the ending, something a logline should never do.

            Beyond that problem, where is the conflict? Since the con artist is the MC, the conflict within the dysfunctional family does not count. The logline needs to tell us what conflict involves the MC. If the MC is simply observing the conflict, then he is not the MC. (In the “Great Gatsby” Carraway narrates the story, but Gatsby is the MC as he drives the major conflict.)

            Mentor Answered on November 8, 2019.

            That’s not the ending.

            The conflict.

            This charming con artist – with no emotional ties – spends the film pretending to be something he’s not (I know it’s not really mentioned on the logline – I’m still working on it).

            He finally gets the family he’s never had – and he’s spent the film lying to them.

            He gets a sweet wholesome woman and falls for her – and again, he’s been lying.

            Intention: to get out of the town and get to a locker filled with money.

            The real intention: to not feel lonely and empty over Christmas. (He spends a good chunk of the film thinking that money will make him feel better but it doesn’t.)

            Obstacle(s): Snowstorm traps him in the town.

            Spending time with this weird dysfunctional family that he grows to love.

            His own increasingly complicated web of lies. (By pretending to be someone decent, honourable – he is digging his own grave.) How could he betray this family that have taken him in?

            The cops who are on his tail – his past and past identity.

            Conflict.

            But yeah – very rough so far.

            on November 8, 2019.
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