When a commuters’ activist group throws the bar car onto the tracks, lonely office drone Donald Brewster and his boozy compatriot patrons must make a case for saving the raucous rail-car or risk losing their home-on-the-way-home.

    Penpusher Posted on May 14, 2019 in Comedy.
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    4 Review(s)

      Wouldn’t a ‘bar car’ already be on the tracks?

      Singularity Answered on May 14, 2019.

      I think I was being a bit too kitschy. What I meant is that they’re trying to get the train company to stop running bar cars.

      on May 14, 2019.
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        I definitely like the premise of this movie as someone who used the cafe car on an Amtrak for my commute regularly. You can have a lot of characters from different walks of life in one location that’s cheap to shoot.

        My concern is with obtaining the goal here. So they want to save their boozing car, but how do they do that with action that can sustain a movie? Ie, How do they “make a case.” Write letters to Amtrak? No action there. Stage a sit in? Doesn’t really seem credible, and what are they really risking? I think you need to focus on what they are going to do.

        Samurai Answered on May 15, 2019.

        My initial idea for the main action of the plot is a series of escalating protests and radical direct actions in the vein of civil rights demonstrations. The tone of the film is sort of Anchorman style absurdity, so writing a petition leads to a literal train robbery. I think we’re probably making fun of the people in the car. I’m really not sure if that’s going to work, however.

        on May 16, 2019.
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          A TV show about the folks that gather in the booze car of an Amtrak train would be great.

          As for your story and taking into account what Ckharper said. I guess the ‘story’ would be about the lives of the commuters, their ups, downs, and trials. The overall main story would be what they do when they discover the train car will be taken away.

          So I do think there is a concern about, “is there enough main story here,” but if the ‘real’ story is about the commuters lives and those stories are interconnected to the main plot then it would probably work.”

          Singularity Answered on May 15, 2019.

          I was thinking it might work as a series as well – Cheers or It’s Always Sunny on a train (yes, those are very different shows, but they’re both in a bar, so ?. I think the only other option is, like you, to really delve into the commuters’ lives.

          on May 16, 2019.
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            Instead of saving the bar car, the boozy compatriots want to end it? The first one is relatable and sounds like a midlife crisis story where they want to hang on to their vices and crutches and wrong behavior. Perhaps the story is about the last few days with the bar service as they deal with their personal issues and mark the end of an era.

            If it’s really about the protag(s) ending the service, then it’s hard to care for him despite the merit in his objective. He’s the party-pooper, the a-hole not minding his own business.

            Is most of the script on the train?

            I’ll stop there because another logline attempt is in order to clarify the intention.


            Mentor Answered on May 16, 2019.

            You’ve hit the nail on the head with your first description – “a midlife crisis story where they want to hang onto their vices and crutches and wrong behavior.”

            In response to your comment and others, if the meat of the film is them wrapping up their time on the car, and when they have a revelation that they actually have agency in their lives they try to save the train. That’s the climax, but the attempt fails, and the denouement is something about how they can change themselves, but they won’t always get what they want anyway and they’ve got to come to terms with that. That compresses the boring fight-city-hall stuff to a small portion of the film.

            on May 16, 2019.
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