When a crew of mismatched oilfield workers stay late to finish a job in the middle of nowhere, they are attacked by bloodthirsty monsters. They’ll have to band together to fight through blood guts, and teeth if they want to live to see another sunrise.
This is all really valuable info in helping me to clarify what the film is about and who the characters are in an economical way. There are answers to these inquiries which I will expand upon below as a way to pull the most interesting/necessary bits for a logline that works. I hope you’ll indulge me. I really am grateful for the help.
[The story itself takes place at a remote oilfield location in northeastern Colorado. There are locations there that get visited once or twice a year simply because they don’t produce on a regular basis. These locations also have unusable cell phone service and you could conceivably be hours from anything approaching civilization. This crew of oilfield workers (called roustabouts in the industry, but I omitted that from the logline because its a weird word and unnecessary) consist of five characters, four men and one woman. The lead character, Kate, is new to oilfield work and her presence is on the crew is a source of tension simply because she is a woman. It is very uncommon to see a woman roustabout in the industry. She has had a previous career working as a park ranger, but was laid off due to budget cuts and had to make a living wage. Working in oil and gas is the fastest/most reliable way to make a living in her part of the country. Because the job takes 3 hours to get to and from the location, the crew has to leave early in the morning if they plan on getting back before dark. There are numerous “warnings” before they arrive and while they are working which I won’t go into here. However, they end up staying late to finish the job because they don’t want to have to come back due to time and money. As soon as the sun sets, all hell breaks loose.]
Regarding the “vampires”: I appreciate Robb Ross’ statement which is essentially why I wanted to go for creatures that were more feral like real monsters instead of the latex clad models of Underworld or the aristocrats of Interview with a Vampire, which is why I put “creatures” instead of vampires. When you say vampires, folks have certain thing in their heads but specificity is key so “Blood-Beings?”…”Darklings?” Is there a way to describe a blood drinking creature that only hunts at night without being too general and without evoking popular imagery of the vampire?
Regarding the environmental message: I like there being a link but not an overt one. Are the creatures the result of drilling? Probably, but I think that is background in this case. That makes the story more of a Tremors and less of a The Grey I suppose.
Regarding Setting: I set this story in the Colorado oilfield because of the remoteness of the location. It goes without saying that in an ever-increasingly modern world, there are less and less places for protagonists to get genuinely separated from convenience and society. When people hear oil and gas they think of drilling rigs, but have no idea that there are thousands of small tank batteries that litter our landscape tucked away in remote areas without cell service or medical access. Shifts in the oilfield range from 8 to 15 hours sometimes. Workers wake up when it’s dark and still find themselves on location as the sun sets. If vampires were real, these workers would be dead.
What about this…
“A park ranger turned Colorado oilfield worker regrets her first day on the job as she must not only battle for respect from her coworkers but fight for her life against the bloodthirsty night-creatures that have descended on the remote oilfield battery to feed on them after the sun goes down.”
Okay, with such a remote location, the state isn’t necessary.
While it still doesn’t intrigue me, see if this helps to clarify the next attempt: After bloodsucking creatures attack an oilfield that is hours from the nearest town, the first female (worker or driller or x) must…
The respect part isn’t needed in the logline and would be implied by clarifying that she’s the first woman. First day is now a secondary detail.
Considering the angle that she’s the first woman, it’s natural that what she must do is save the men…in a specific way, as was mentioned. And yet, this ‘first woman’ angle feels less-than-natural within ‘vampires in oilfield.’ Consider being direct and exploring the oil sin or consider another setting or another protag.
What’s the main thing motivating you to write this? The idea can evolve in different ways if one focuses on ‘oilfield horror,’ or ‘old-school vampires’ or ‘first woman,’ While each is clear and has potential, and the first and third can work together, all three together feels fuzzy.