When a female editor working overnight with her careerist cameraman discovers he’s the perpetrator in his acquired murder footage, she must safely evacuate the studio

    Title: shutter speed

    So a psychopathic cameraman is killing innocent homeless people and documenting them under “mysterious serial killings”

    When he learns that she knows his secret (around midpoint??) let’s just say he’s willing to do anything for his bright future…
    My question is: what are they doing in the first half of Act II? What do you suggest happens in pages 25 to 55 for a 110 page script? Do they flirt each other before she discovers (while editing) that he’s a sonofab**ch

    It doesn’t create a sense of urgency and danger. She’s working night shift with a psychopathic killer which isn’t expressed by her simple goal “to safely evacuate the studio”

    thanks for your time

    Summitry Posted on April 10, 2018 in Thriller.

    maybe a comma b/w “cameraman” & “discovers”

    on April 10, 2018.
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    2 Review(s)

      I am assuming she looks at the wrong footage.
      I think this story works, especially if you give a good reason why the building is on lockdown and there are no security personnel around
      Here is an attempt, I am not sure it is a final logline but hopefully it is a step in the right direction:
      ———————————————
      “When she discovers her cameraman is a murderer, a career editor working overnight must find a way to escape or be the star in the psychopaths latest snuff film.”

      Singularity Answered on April 10, 2018.

      a lot easier to read!
      so yes, it really doesn’t matter how she figures it out (not in the logline)
      It’s not a snuff film. More like he takes footage of the dead after a day or two to lose grounds of suspicion. Or even pictures..

      But this format is better, thanks!

      on April 10, 2018.

      loglines can greatly benefit from a strong hook & for a thriller, the hook should be built-in intrigue and urgency

      This particular film could benefit from establishing the setting front and clear:
      late night…..the two of them working alone…….and that they keep talking, so she cannot call the cops or do something that makes him ever so dubious

      Won’t remain the same after midpoint when he leaves her side for the first time to disconnect communication (now that he knows that she knows…) and bar exits. To her it must feel like a cage with the only goal “survival”

      on April 10, 2018.
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        variable:

        I think you have an intriguing story idea.  I suggest you expand the setting and time frame.  That is, make her a studio producer who becomes suspicious after time and again he’s the one who gets the scoop, who’s always the first on the scene.   “Nightcrawler” meets “American Psycho”.

        fwiw

         

        Singularity Answered on April 10, 2018.

        Ok, I haven’t read American Psycho but Nightcrawler has been the most weird script I’ve encountered (and maybe it’s Lou that conceived “the cameraman”)
        The setting and time frame must be expanded, definitely.

        So if I research these characters, I’ll get closer to this logline we have here…that’s great! It’s best to have a direction and i knew i could rely on you guys for good direction
        my sincerest thanks

        on April 10, 2018.

        *maybe nightcrawler’s Dan Gilroy is in love with butch cassidy and the sundance kid’s William Goldman

        on April 14, 2018.
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